Having brothers is a zoo. Your humble home will be crazy, smelly and loud, but being around your brothers is a fantastical adventure that you’ll treasure for the rest of your life. Despite your crappy moments together and the days that you hate each other’s guts, it’s truly great to be able to grow up with brothers.
- They tell it like it is. Your brothers don’t care about sparing your precious feelings, especially when you’re doing something stupid. If they think you’re an idiot, they’re going to tell you. Your parents will probably refrain from using the word “dumbass” while they’re raising you to be a productive member of society, but your brothers will throw it in your face with reckless abandon. This will either destroy your self-esteem or force you to make better choices. It’s up to you.
- They play rough. Brothers don’t care that you’re a girl. A wrestling match is a wrestling match and they will do whatever it takes to win. They don’t see you as “fragile” or “less capable.” You are simply the enemy and you’re going to either get your ass kicked or fight back mercilessly. This is a great environment for a future athlete or kindergarten teacher to grow up in.
- You can talk to them about things your parents would retch at. Have a gross, embarrassing question that your parents would throw you in therapy for? Head over to Brothers R’ Us, where your disgusting questions are welcomed at all hours of the day. Your brothers are happy to answer anything you ask and throw in some revolting, unnecessary details just for the sake of corrupting your innocence and adding fuel to your nightmares. Swell guys, ain’t they?
- They desensitize you to vile bodily functions. Brothers give no f*cks about the most gag-inducing aspects of the human body. Their shameless attitude towards bodily smells and sounds, while hilariously repulsive, is admirable. When you spend a disturbing portion of your childhood choking on farts that smell like decomposing flesh and bad cheese, your initial shock and horror will dilute after awhile in a twisted version of exposure therapy. Years later, when you’re an adult and your boyfriend rips a nasty one, it isn’t a tragedy. It’s just “meh.” Thanks, bros.
- They encourage you to be strong. Having a strong, badass sister is a source of pride for your brothers. They don’t want to be associated with a wimpy, sniveling mess of a person. When you go out and get stuff done and kick some ass, they’ll love you for it. And you’ll love them for loving you, until things get all emotional and gross.
- They’ll fight to protect you if they have to. No one messes with their sister, and anyone who crosses a line will have to answer for it. Your brothers are like feral animals when it comes to protecting you, even though they like to pretend they don’t care sometimes. It’s terrifying but it makes you feel safe at the same time.
- They can come to you for girl advice. They need your advice just as much as you need theirs. If they’re honest and give it to you straight, you should do the same for them. If you think the girl they’re lusting after is a dreadful, bitchy, repugnant twatsicle, then say those exact words. Your brothers will thank you one day, despite their surprised shock at your colorful vocabulary.
- They’re ridiculously fun to drink with. “Drunk Brothers Day” should be a nationally recognized holiday. Sitting back with your brothers and cutting loose is both necessary and therapeutic. If you don’t cross the threshold into blackout drunk oblivion, you’ll have lots of funny memories to laugh about later. Plus, you can dazzle your brothers with your expert drinking “skills.”
- They make you think on your feet. Being able to come up with biting, razor sharp, acidic comebacks on the spot is a basic survival skill amongst siblings. Your pride and status in the household definitely takes a hit when you can’t spit out an epic insult in mere seconds. If you spend enough time living like that, the ability to think on your feet will become an integral part of your personality. This can benefit you in many areas of life.
