Sometimes Real Love Means Knowing When To Let Go

Loving someone doesn’t mean that person is going to be your forever match. It’s hard to find the person who fits you well enough to last a lifetime because what works now may not work five years down the line or even next year — and that’s okay. It may be hard, but sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let your partner go when you know it isn’t right. Here’s what you need to remember:

1. Cutting the cord feels impossible, but it’s not. Make no mistake, this will be one of the hardest decisions you ever face. Emotional attachment is a bitch. You can reason with yourself over and over again, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to cut the cord. You know you have to, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
2. You’ve tried everything else but nothing is working. It never hurts to make sure you’ve exhausted all other options. After all, relationships take work. You shouldn’t break up with someone you care for over one or two little issues. When you try and fail over and over again, then you know something’s truly wrong.
3. You know in your gut it’s wrong. Denial is a powerful force. You might tell yourself that it’s working out okay so fiercely that you actually believe it. The problem is that your instincts will nag at you until you do the right thing. Your gut knows the truth.
4. There’s no shame in admitting it’s not working. Whether he refuses to meet you halfway or the two of you just aren’t seeing eye-to-eye, it’s not working. You encounter the same problems time and again, and nothing ever changes. It’s the same old story and you’re exhausted. Love can’t fix it.
5. You love him desperately, but… You have to learn to love yourself more. You also need to understand that when love is grasping and needy, it’s not a true expression of that emotion. Sometimes the best way you can love someone – and yourself – is to do what’s best for the both of you.
6. It’s not right, but you’re afraid to lose him. It’s understandable. You finally found someone you care for, someone you get along with, someone who enjoys the same interests as you. There’s so much about the relationship that’s good. Unfortunately, there’s something missing and you can’t get around it no matter how you try. You can try to keep him, but you’ll never be happy.
7. It might take awhile, but that’s okay. It may take a while to finally bite the bullet and end things. It’s a death match between your heart, your gut, and your head. Sometimes the conflict is so overwhelming that it paralyzes you. No matter how deeply you understand that you have to let him go, doing so is a whole different story.
8. Your love for him ends up conquering your need for him. In the end, you decide that you can’t keep on this way. You’re miserable. He’s miserable. If you really love each other, you have to make the decision that’s best for your health and happiness. It’s tough, but it’s the best thing you can do to let him go.
9. You want him to be as happy as possible, and that means everything. When you really love a person, you want the best for them, right? Of course you do. Unfortunately, your own selfish desires and needs sometimes get in the way. When you clear your mind and learn to identify your best course of action to bring him joy, it might be saying goodbye.
10. You put his needs before your own selfish desires. This is pure love. Loving someone enough to set him free despite the heartbreak it’ll cause you is truly selfless and noble. You’ll end up realizing that you unwittingly freed yourself in the process.
11. It hurts like hell, but you know it’s right. Yes, you’re going to mourn your relationship and you’re going to miss him. It may take you a very long time to recover. That’s the brutal truth. Still, what’s worse? A period of grief from which you’ll emerge stronger and more vibrant than ever, or living in a state of familiar misery? Temporary unhappiness beats lifelong discontent.
12. Love can’t cure everything. It sucks but it’s true. You can love the hell out of someone but that doesn’t mean it’ll magically work out. Unfortunately, more times than not, your feelings for each other will not overcome major differences. Emotions and the practicality of compatibility do not go hand in hand.
13. Two people can adore each other and still be a bad fit. There are so many factors involved aside from love. There’s life philosophies, values, goals, religion, politics, career needs … the list goes on and on. People can be completely torn apart by factors outside their control. Also, life changes and you change. Sometimes you grow apart. Recognize when it’s time to adapt by letting go of him.
14. The most difficult choice is often the best choice. No, it’s not easy to let your love go, but life is never easy. Often your hardest decisions are the most important you will ever make. If something is easy, you can choose that option …. but you won’t learn or grow. You have to know when it’s time and make the most compassionate and loving call.
15. You’re setting yourself free as well, though you don’t know it. It sucks, and it’s painful, and you hate yourself for losing your love. It feels like you’re doing him a favor while turning the knife in your own heart. What you don’t realize right away is that someday you will take a deep breath and feel relieved. If you’re in an unhappy relationship, you’re suffering from stress and anxiety you don’t even see. On that day that you finally wake up, smile, and feel truly happy on your own – you’ll understand that loving him and letting him go was the best decision you could make.