You Don’t Need A Guy To Live Happily Ever After

Being truly happy is a highly subjective, personal experience, but it’s also something we’re all chasing in one way or another. Fairy tales and romantic comedies have taught us to aim for a version of “happily ever after” where we’ve fallen in love with Prince Charming, but what if that’s still not enough? Well… that’s totally normal because only you can decide what happily ever after means to you.

  1. Being in love today doesn’t mean you’ll be in love tomorrow. Happily ever after implies that once you’ve reached that elusive peak of all possible happiness, you’re guaranteed to stay there. Obviously, life doesn’t work that way. Things change and people fall out of love, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy things while they last. No relationship is a waste of time as long as it made you happy while you were in it.
  2. Not everyone wants monogamy. Finding The One is something a lot of people want, but a monogamous, long-term arrangement between two people isn’t the only kind of love story. Maybe you’re into polyamory, or maybe you just have no intention of settling down because you’d rather put yourself first. The point is, love comes in many different forms and trying to conform to something that isn’t you pretty much guarantees you’ll never be happy.
  3. Priorities shift. You might think you have everything you could ever want one day, but as you get older, you might find yourself wanting things you never expected. It’s okay to change your mind about what you want as long as you’re self aware enough to acknowledge it and not get stuck pursusing the things you think you’re supposed to want instead.
  4. Happiness is a lifelong journey. It’s pretty unlikely you’re going to find ultimate happiness one day and never question anything ever again. Instead, your needs will evolve and you’ll have to evolve with them, figuring out along the way what will make you happy. Think about it: life would be pretty boring without change and the challenges that come along with it.
  5. It’s your life. It seems obvious, but sometimes you need a reminder that you shouldn’t be making decisions for ourselves based on what other people want or expect. They aren’t the ones that have to deal with the consequences– you are. Start putting yourself first more often and the right path will become a lot clearer than it ever was when all you did was worry about what people were going to think.
  6. You can be happy without love. In fact, love has a way of making life more difficult than it needs to be. Well, at least it does when your life revolves around the maintenance of an unhealthy relationship. Don’t let something you think is love hold you back because it’s 100% possible to be happy all on your own.
  7. You can choose to be happy. You don’t need to be miserable until you reach that ultimate goal in your head that you think will make you happy — you can decide that what you have right now is enough. That way, when you do meet the right person or realize your biggest dream, there will be less pressure on it to be perfect because things were already pretty good before.
  8. Your goals aren’t the same as anyone else’s. Maybe reaching all your career goals is your idea of living happily ever after, or maybe it’s being a mother that you want more than anything. Whatever it is, the path you take to get there is uniquely yours and comparing yourself to others will never be a good idea.
  9. There are things you can’t control. It’s not easy to go through life wanting certain things and feeling like you have no control over whether you get them or not. Love is one of those things you can’t force or predict. You could do everything right and still have terrible luck with dating. Sometimes you just have to focus on the positive and have faith that everything will work out the way it should.
  10. The world is full of possibilities. What you thought would make you happy might not necessarily end up being everything you thought it would be. But if you keep an open mind, you’ll have a lot more opportunities to find happiness (and maybe love) in places you never would be expected.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.
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