You might feel like a failure when a relationship just doesn’t work out or ends in soul-crushing heartache, but you’re looking at it all wrong. Though it may not seem like it at first, you always walk away stronger and smarter than you were before, and now you’re just one step closer to finding the person you actually want to be with.
- You figure out what your absolute dealbreakers are. Knowing what you don’t want in a partner is often just as helpful as knowing what you do want. You now know to avoid whatever lead to the breakup of this relationship and what you really can’t tolerate in the long run. You’ll be better at skipping dead end relationships in the future.
- You always learn something important about yourself. Breakups are the perfect time for self-reflection. Even if your ex is a jerk, you probably weren’t perfect, either. You don’t need to be flawless to deserve love, but you do need to be self aware and actively working on any bad habits that hurt people close to you. If you figure out a way to be better for yourself and the people you love in the future, then your relationship was absolutely a worthwhile experience.
- You made good memories, too. There were some terrible days, but some amazing ones, too. You made some good memories that can make you smile when you look back on them, even when you know those times are completely in the past.
- You upped your dating skills. Falling in love comes naturally, but actually being successful at dating is a skill you have to learn. With your newly acquired expertise, you’re guaranteed to get it right when you meet someone worth holding on to.
- Walking away from the wrong person is always the right decision. When you aren’t with the right person, having the relationship end is always a good thing. It might be a tough choice or transition, but you will always be better off for walking away from someone who isn’t right for you. Figuring that out should be celebrated as an important realization, not characterized as a failure because it didn’t work out long-term.
- You’ll recognize the right person when you meet them. You’ll notice the difference almost immediately when you meet someone who’s great for you. The difference will be striking, and you have your ex to thank for that.
- You’ll appreciate real love when you have it. When it’s the real deal, you’ll cherish every wonderful moment and sweet gesture. Your crummy old relationship will serve as the rain that makes you appreciate the sunshine, and you’ll never accidentally take your love for granted.
- Major life changes are an opportunity to grow. Breakups can be seriously brutal, but they are also a catalyst for change. While you’re getting over your ex, you’re also becoming more like the person you always wanted to be. You invest in yourself, your career, and your friendships. It’s probably not how you envisioned yourself growing as a person, but you’re better off none the less.
- Choosing to stand alone is a testament to your strength. Leaving a situation that isn’t right for you takes a lot of bravery. You should never feel like a failure for quitting something that was bad for you, because you’ll end up being better off in the long run. Listening to your gut always makes you a winner.
