Smart women have so much going for us, but no matter how amazing we are, we have serious blind spots when it comes to men. Why does this continue to happen? Here’s how we amazing, incredible women lose our footing when it comes to love:
- We don’t know that we deserve something amazing. Even the best of us has insecurities and hangups. It’s amazing how a woman can be a confident badass in her professional and social circles, but still worry when it comes to finding the right man for her. Maybe we’re too impatient and we don’t want to wait for that right fit, but also we get lonely for companionship. Sometimes we settle for “just good enough” because we aren’t so sure that “amazing” is really out there waiting for us.
- We make excuses for them. How many times have you had to bite your tongue while one of your terrific girl friends brushes off her man’s crappy behavior? It’s a problem. We spend so much time in denial of what’s going on right in front of us that we fall into a rut of believing that’s just the best we can do. It’s not true. We have to stay strong and keep the faith that we’ll find better.
- We date guys we know aren’t right. Maybe we’re feeling bored, or maybe lonely for a warm body to cuddle at the end of the day. Maybe we haven’t come across any guys we can even tolerate in months, so when we do…why not just go for it? He’s not the right guy, but he’s okay for right now. The problem is that then we waste all this time and effort on someone who we don’t even really want.
- We continue dating them long after we should’ve cut them loose. So we know they aren’t right, but we want someone to hang out with for a bit. Cut to a few months later and we’re still messing around with the same guys. We rationalize it by saying that nothing better is coming along, but how the hell would we know? We aren’t out looking. We’re just hanging out with dudes we know full well we won’t end up with long-term. It’s better to stay strong and single.
- We let them treat us like crap. Why why why do we do this? Why don’t we know our worth, even after all our hard work to get where we are in life? We spend all this time working on ourselves and getting to know ourselves, and then when it comes down to it, we pick another jackass man anyway. We have to break the cycle and hold out for the men who respect, admire, and support strong women. If he isn’t a feminist, there’s no damn point.
- We allow ridiculous behavior. It’s not that we should act like their mothers and police their actions. It’s that we shouldn’t have to do so in the first place. Why do we allow men to behave in ways that we would never in a million years tolerate from friends or family? It’s shameful. Either we care about them too much, or we’re too worried about whether they will still like us if we stand up to them. Either way, it’s not a good thing.
- We overlook huge red flags because we don’t want to see them. In the beginning, it’s easy to brush them aside. Then we get rather attached and we don’t want to lose someone we care about over issues that cannot be resolved. We should never have gotten in so deep in the first place…but here we are. We start to rationalize our reasons for compromising when we shouldn’t. We put up with crap that we secretly – or not so secretly – hate. We make ourselves miserable, all in the name of what we refer to as love. Sweeties, this is not real love.
- We rationalize everything. Our friends know better, and they are rolling their eyes at us, but we keep on doing it. There’s always some perfect normal reason for our ridiculous behavior when it comes to that jackass guy we’re dating. In our minds, we can twist and turn anything to make it work for us. In reality, we are simply fooling ourselves hardcore. What a mess.
- We refuse to listen to the advice of those who really care about us. Love is blind, and we are blind as hell. Usually we hold the opinions of those we love in high regard, but that all goes out the window when it concerns our romances. It makes no sense, but we do it anyway. Later we look back and think, what the hell was going on there? More often than not, we let infatuation blind us to the truth.
- We get ourselves in way too deep and then we’re embarrassed to admit we aren’t happy. We took a giant leap into love. We ignored our closest confidantes and their advice. We threw caution to the wind and fell for what wasn’t right for us at all. Now we’re dealing with the consequences, and it’s not pretty. We are ashamed to admit defeat – ashamed to own up to the fact that we were wrong all along. We play the game because we are stubborn and proud and we hate to admit weakness. What we must learn to understand is that there is much strength in admitting mistakes and starting anew.
