I’m currently in the middle of a (somewhat embarrassing) re-watch of the always cheesy drama One Tree Hill. In a season 8 episode, a character says, “Happiness is a mood, not a destination.” I love this idea, because we seem to get so caught up in waiting for things to happen that are unmistakable markers of happiness. But what if we’ve lost sight of whether we’re actually content or not? Here are some ways to know if you’re truly happy – not in some mysterious future, but as you are, right now.
- You have zero social plans this weekend and you’re actually excited about it. When we’re unhappy, we can start feeling like we’re going to go nuts if we don’t spend time with other people. But you know you’re perfectly content if you can spend Saturday and Sunday alone and actually enjoy it. You don’t need anyone but yourself, and you’re totally okay with being alone.
- The thought of being single for a few more months doesn’t make you want to cry. When we’re going through a rough time, it’s so easy to think that being in a relationship will suddenly and magically fix everything, but we all know that never works. If you can handle your solo status, you can be sure that you’re experiencing a steady state of happiness.
- You find the status quo anything but boring these days. When we’re tired of our lives, we start looking for ways to spice things up – we want to go on more exciting dates with our BF, we wish we could backpack through Europe all summer long. But being happy means you can hang with your guy on the couch every night this week and smile about it. And you actually enjoy your daily routine and all its small joys, from your daily Starbucks trip to checking your Twitter feed.
- You don’t want anyone else’s advice. On anything. You should totally celebrate the day that you feel capable of making your own choices without looking back. Not to say that you don’t still need other people, because no woman is an island, after all. But you can live with your decisions and you don’t want anyone else to weigh in.
- You’ve said goodbye to the scale. It’s awesome when you feel good about yourself and would rather tune into how you’re feeling rather than how much you weigh. If you’re always worrying about losing 5 pounds or cutting out carbs or whatever fad diet is making the rounds, you’re bound to be a bit cranky.
- You only sweat the not-so-small stuff. Everything feels completely life or death when we’re not thrilled with the way things are going. A friend reschedules dinner, someone cuts in front of you at Starbucks – you care about these little things way more than you should. But when you’ve reached a place of happiness, it takes a lot more to upset you.
- You know it’s not usually about you. Being happy means you no longer take things so personally. If you don’t get the job you want, you know it’s because you weren’t right for the position. If a guy rejects you, you shrug it off and move on to the next. You know the world is big and stuff happens. It’s all good.
- You stay calm (like yoga class calm) with your craziest relative. It’s a pretty big deal when you can stay super zen when dealing with that aunt or cousin who used to raise your blood pressure to sky-high levels. That’s something to be proud of.
- You’re okay when there’s zero closure to a situation. Maybe you had an almost relationship that suddenly evaporated or an old friend just stopped making plans with you. Sure, you were bummed out for a while, but now you don’t even mind. The universe is mysterious and you even like that about it.
- You’ve become that super smiley girl that is borderline annoying. You can’t help it. You’ve got a personal pop music soundtrack in your head at all times and you may know that life isn’t all sunshine and butterflies. But right now, it totally feels like it is.
