Some relationships start out passionate and intense… before fizzling out into a whole lot of nothing. While the heartbreak you feel when this happens is super real, the constant let-downs should give you the ability to tell right off the bat when something just isn’t right. Here are a few signs that you probably shouldn’t delete your Bumble account just yet:
1. He says he’ll call/text but rarely follows through — at least not in a timely manner.
You aren’t a “clingy girl” if you’re hurt by a false promise like this. Sometimes things come up and people get a little busier than they think, but let’s be honest here. You can have a text conversation at your own leisure, and a simple “hey, things got busy at work” is way better than hours of silence. If a guy pulls this crap in the first month, he’s not into you. He’s only into wasting your time.
2. He’s already resentful about taking you out on dates.
In a perfect world, everything is split 50/50, and if you’re dating a guy, you should remember that you’re not dating him for his wallet. The problem is, if he gets weird about footing the bill during the first month (especially a reasonable bill, like fast food), he’s obviously over the idea of making you feel special. The better way to approach this would be to ask if you’d mind treating if he’s low on cash at the time. Arguing or making you feel bad about the money situation is just a way of saying, “We’re official now, so I can stop trying.”
3. He’s pressuring you to sleep with him.
There’s no specific day you should give up the goods. Whether you decide to sleep with him during the first date or on your wedding night is totally a personal decision. Any guy who pushes for more out of intimate times (either having it or trying something you’re not comfortable with) is bad news. Incompatibility is definitely important, but if he says he’s cool with one arrangement and then suddenly isn’t, you might want to run.
4. Sleeping together is just plain awful.
If you’re sleeping together and it’s super weird, it’s probably not going to get any better — unless one or both of you were virgins before or just don’t have a lot of experience. (It’s totally okay if you are.) If you’ve been around the block a few times, and find it hard not to giggle at his “expertise” in the sack, the relationship won’t go very far. While you should always communicate about what you dig in bed, sometimes you just can’t help a bad lover.
5. He’s jealous of every guy you talk to.
Sometimes guy friends give off “bad vibes.” If your new boyfriend would prefer that you shut them all down (before even trying to get to know them himself), he’s definitely not a keeper. You had a life before this guy and if you were happy with it, he shouldn’t try and change the arrangement. Cutting friends off for a significant other only leads to resentment and hurt feelings.
6. He hates your girlfriends.
He’s not going to have the same relationship as you do with Betty, the girl you’ve known since sixth grade — but hating her? A little harsh. If he hates your friends during the first month, he’s kind of judging them a little too soon. These ladies are obviously in your life for a reason. If he’s only been exposed to them once or twice, it’s more likely that the only thing he hates is that they’re taking your time away from him. That’s not healthy.
7. He turns down every activity you suggest.
Yeah, going for a walk in the park isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, but it seems like everything you want to do, he ends up turning down. Even worse, he makes you feel kind of bad for suggesting it in the first place. If you’re expected to watch him play video games for four straight hours (and somehow find some enjoyment out of it) he needs to tend to your needs every once in awhile as well. If not? Well, you’re going to burn out soon. Cut your losses now.
8. He interrupts you when you’re talking.
When you talk, he talks over you. Yeah, it’s a bad habit we’re all guilty of every once in a while, but it’s something important to note. This guy is subconsciously telling you that his words are more important than yours. If he’s too busy brewing up a response that can’t even be appropriately timed, there’s a good chance he’s not even listening to anything you’re saying.
9. Sometimes, he responds to you with silence.
This is a real thing and it’s super hurtful. Again, sometimes people get distracted. For this guy, he just doesn’t respond if he isn’t totally engaged in what you’re saying. In the words of one Stephanie Tanner, “How rude!” This action manages to make you feel bad for communicating in the first place and makes you feel like your words just aren’t important enough. Dump this guy and find someone who’ll actively listen and chat back.
10. You’ve already run out of things to do.
Dates should be about the person and not the activity. The activity just heightens the experience a little bit more. If you two are already at the stage of sitting at home and watching Netflix (for the fourth night in a row), just imagine what the rest of the year will look like. New relationships mean that it’s time to really explore your surroundings, and do challenging and fun things together. If he refuses to move from the couch, that’s a bad sign of things to come.
11. He does something that grosses you out, and you don’t want to tell him about it.
No guy is going to be perfect, but being turned off by a small issue won’t be an issue during that first month for a guy you really like and feel compatible with. The first few months of every relationship are lumped together and referred to as “the honeymoon phase” for a good reason. Nitpicking so early on proves that you’re unsure about him since you’re already looking for minor faults.
12. He can’t stop comparing you to his ex.
We’re all a little scarred by past relationships, but if you can’t stop hearing about “Katie” and the things that Katie did and Katie said, then he’s not over Katie and needs to back away from dating for awhile. Even if you’re an understanding soul, you’re not Katie, and shouldn’t be punished for her wrongdoings.
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