We all have qualities we want our perfect guy to have, but just like it’s unrealistic for men to want their girlfriends to be supermodels, sometimes our dream guy checklists are pretty unlikely, too. Not only are chances of finding Mr. Right slim to none, but some of the qualities we think are important in a long-term love aren’t actually all that great. Here are some qualities you should put far less emphasis on when looking for “The One.”
- He has to be rich. Having a guy with a job is important, but not dating a guy because he doesn’t make enough money is stupid, shallow and unfair. No one is stuck where they are, and he can always get a better job… but will you find a better man?
- He should be tall. As a tall woman, I can attest to getting hung up on this one. For the longest time I felt really insecure about being with men who were my height or shorter. I realized that the insecurity came from me and I shouldn’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks, anyway. Height is not an indicator of worth and short guys are awesome, too.
- He needs to have blue eyes (or brown or green). Maybe you’re blue-eyed and want a blue-eyed man so your children are guaranteed to be blue-eyed babes? Eye color matters so little on the scale of what is important and you shouldn’t let it stand between you and a great dude.
- He should drive a sweet car. Some men are car men, and others aren’t. What he drives is truly inconsequential. As long as he drives it to come see you, don’t let the appearance of his vehicle get to you. That’s some high school BS.
- He must be well-educated. I know this one intimately. Because I’m a big school nerd working on a PhD, I always thought that I could only ever date a man with an advanced education. Wrong. School is great for some of us, but less than desirable for others. My man is nowhere near as academically educated as I am, but what he lacks in school he has in real life experience.
- He has to have a totally banging body. Obviously finding a guy attractive matters. If we aren’t physically attracted to him, then we really wont care about what else they’ve got going for him. It isn’t us being shallow, it’s really just biology! Although a man that spends endless hours in the gym is sexy, those hours are hours he won’t be spending with you. Maybe forego the rippling six-pack for a guy who loves to look at you more than he loves to look at himself.
- He shouldn’t have a crappy history. Bad stuff happens to good people. Don’t punish him just because his family isn’t great, his parents are divorced, or he grew up somewhere less than stellar. These things have all gotten him where he is, which is close to you. Our backgrounds only matter if we let them, so just let this one go.
- He needs to be physically perfect. Aside from height, eye color, and body type, the rest of a guy’s appearance can turn us off if it doesn’t fit our dream guy calculus. Stop being so shallow! Hair color, skin tone, facial hair… none of that defines who he is. Besides, once you snag him, you can always offer some helpful suggestion on improving his appearance.
- He should be immaculately dressed. Most women love a well-dressed man, but that can mean different things for all of us. I personally love a man in uniform, both for how sexy it is and for the commitment to serving. Other women drool over a man in suit. Just like his physical appearance, this isn’t something that really matters but is also something you can influence once you’re his lady. Just be patient and tolerate the awful sweatshirts for a few more weeks.
- He can’t have slept with too many women. The number of women he’s slept with doesn’t matter — it really doesn’t. Of course we don’t want a guy that has absolutely no standards, but we were all in college once. I don’t even ask a guy how many women he’s been with because honestly I’m one of those girls that will obsess about it and punish a guy for his past, when it’s really all about my own insecurities. Let his past stay where it is and let go of that crap so you can move into the future together.
