Why You Definitely Shouldn’t Marry For Money

Why You Definitely Shouldn’t Marry For Money ©iStock/Probuxtor

The internet is flooded with articles telling you why you should find a guy with tons of cash and tie the knot so you can secure the bag. However, there’s next to no guidance on why this is the worst idea ever. Saying “I do” and committing to spend your life with a guy because of his bank balance is not just gross, it’s also pretty much guaranteed to backfire. Here’s why you shouldn’t marry for money, no matter how appealing it might sound.

  1. Because smart women don’t have to marry for money. You have ambition, goals, and the know-how to get where you want to be. You can make your own success and stack up the cash yourself. You don’t need to rely on your husband’s net worth to be happy in life. In fact, you’re smart enough not to want it.
  2. It won’t buy you happiness. Sure, money can buy you a fabulous vacation, and that fabulous vacation will make you happy, but every vacation comes to an end. And what good is a luxury trip to a beautiful location if you’re not head over heels for the guy you’re sharing it with?
  3. It won’t solve your problems. Jay Z still has 99 of them and he has more money than any guy you’re going to get to marry you. If you think bagging a rich guy is the answer to all your woes, think again.
  4. It might not last. Yet another reason you shouldn’t marry for money — that money might not always be there. Sure, they say the rich keep getting richer, but sometimes the rich go broke. Nicholas Cage seemed tolerable when he had a $150 million dollar fortune, but not so much when he had to file Chapter 7.
  5. It will trap you. Money is the number one reason people stay in a loveless marriage, especially if it’s the reason they got into it in the first place. Most people with money want to protect their assets with iron-clad prenups, so don’t plan on walking away unless you plan on walking away broke.
  6. People with money still fight about money. Whether you’re fighting over hundreds or hundreds of thousands, money will always be a point of contention. There’s no way around it. There’s also nothing worse than having it thrown in your face when you least expect it.
  7. Love is priceless. There’s no doubt that it’s corny, but if you only marry for money, you’ll never know what Taylor Swift is singing about. She’s talking about a blank space, not a blank check, people.
  8. Because you’re not that cynical… yet. Maybe after your first marriage ends in a nasty divorce and you no longer believe in love, but for now, there’s still hope. There are a million different guys out there, many of whom you could actually love. They may not be able to retire early or fly you to Paris on a private jet, but you’ll actually want to wake up next to them every day.
  9. Because nothing is free. You might not have to ever work another day in your life, sure. But nothing in this life comes for free. You’ll have to do SOMETHING to remain on the gravy train. Good luck blowing someone you aren’t even remotely attracted to.
  10. Because you can’t be bought. Your integrity is worth way more than the millions he has in the bank. Letting yourself be bought is embarrassing and undignifying. You’re better than that.
  11. Because the people who feel this way are unhappy. Any married person who suggests you marry for money is unhappily married. You should feel bad for them, not take their advice. Come on, you know better!
Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.
close-link
close-link