So you have a certain hottie on your radar, and he might even be giving you some interest signals… but he hasn’t made any real moves to get with you. Maybe you’ve been spending some time together but he hasn’t taken things to the next level physically. Both are circumstances where you might need to take the reigns and make the first move, whether you like it or not. Here’s out to do it painlessly. (He’ll thank you later.)
- Be confident. It’s not desperate to go after a guy unless you’re feeling desperate. Focus on the part where you own your confidence for knowing what you want and having the strength to go after it. If it doesn’t work, it’s obviously his loss.
- Be just slightly touchy-feely. Whether you’re trying to swap digits at the bar or you’re trying to get his pants off, turning on the physicality should help. You might feel like your super flirty eyes are sending all the right signals but take it to the next level just to be sure. If you gently put your hand on his arm, it’s going to be obvious pretty quickly if he’s into it or not. If he doesn’t shy away from the arm, take it to more intimate places like the chest or the neck. Is it getting hot in here?
- Ask for what you want. Subtly is grand and all, but if he’s hard to read just straight up ask. “We should get drinks sometime” is a totally casual but sends the right message. Or mention that you’d love to check out that band sometime that he’s been raving about for the past 10 minutes. Ideally he will run with the setup and handle the plans from there. If it’s sex you’re after but your makeout sessions just never end, a playful “Are we gonna do this, or what?” should get the ball rolling.
- Let him help you with something. Most guys respond to being a gentleman for a girl that they’re interested in, so give him the opportunity to do so. You don’t want to feign ignorance or being incapable, but asking him to look something up on his phone for you at the work party will give you a mini bonding moment to work with. Plus, it gives you the opportunity to thank him using all your flirting power.
- Linger. When you’re around try to make the most of your time that you can. Lingering near him is a pretty subtle and not frightening approach but he will notice that you’re keeping close to him. Don’t stalk the guy, but make it obvious that of all the people around you like the physical proximity of him the best.
- Be interested. Of course you’re interested, you’re interested. But make sure he can tell that you’re interested. Active listening is one of the best ways to let people know that you’re paying attention to them, and following up on topics they’ve mentioned will let them know that your interest has longevity.
- Get him alone. Even if you don’t want to fully ask him out, you might be able to send the signal that you want him to do it by spending some time alone. Pull him away from the group if he’s a part of a mutual friend clan or just use your body angles to make it clear that he’s the only person in the room as far as you’re concerned.
