When you’re in a new relationship or newly in love, the rest of the world disappears. Okay, it doesn’t actually disappear, but it does for you. You forget any semblance of a life you had before you met your new beau, which includes your friends, your family and your hobbies. As long as this is a temporary phase, it’s perfectly normal and even acceptable… for a few months. Don’t give yourself too much grief for this behavior – hopefully your friends will understand, too. Here are 8 reasons you can cut yourself some slack when you pull a Houdini when you have a new BF.
- Everyone has been there. Though this behavior can be annoying or frustrating when you’re on the other end, everyone makes allowances for their friends in this situation because everyone has been the perpetrator at some point. We all remember what it feels like to be so consumed by the excitement of a new guy and a new relationship that you won’t get too much lip from anyone… that is, unless your vanishing act appears to become more permanent than temporary.
- You need to take time to live in the honeymoon period. The honeymoon phase is arguably the best stage of any relationship. If you don’t take the time to enjoy it and immerse yourself in it, you’re cheating yourself out of the full experience. It might also take longer for you to return to your routine and your friends if you’re only experiencing the honeymoon phase as piecemeal. This is one time you need to allow yourself to indulge.
- You spent all of your time with your friends when you were single. You finally have a BF and it feels damn nice. When you were single, you were the best friend you could possibly be to your other single friends and suffered through plenty of nights out as a third wheel with those that were in relationships. Now it’s your turn. Some time away from your friends won’t hurt as long as you make sure you make time for them once the afterglow of your new relationship has worn off.
- You can’t help yourself. You tried. You really had every intention of making it to Taco Tuesday with your bestie, but you’ve been at work all day and you can’t imagine, not spending your free hours with your new guy. He feels like a drug and you want another hit. Sometimes good intentions are good enough and if you’re honest with your friend about why you’re canceling she’ll more than likely understand and be forgiving.
- The sex. The sex. The sex. The mind-blowing feeling of new sex with a new man. It’s all new. It’s all unexpected. It’s pretty f-ing fantastic (pun intended). Oh, did I mention the sex? New, amazing sex is always an acceptable reason to skip your spin class or flake on brunch.
- It’s almost impossible for you to find a good enough reason to leave your apartment. You’ve toyed with the idea of leaving your love nest with your boyfriend, but you guys just can’t seem to find a reason to get out of bed. These days, when there’s an app for everything, you can have all of your meals, your groceries and even your dry cleaning delivered. If you have to look for reasons to leave, you should probably succumb to the fact that you guys really just want to stay in together.
- It will help you get back to your regular life faster. Give yourself a break. Allow yourself to have the time to be that girl and bask in the boyfriend glory. Once you have that and feel fulfilled, you’ll feel ready to get back to business as usual. It won’t be the status quo anymore now that you have him, but giving yourself time to immerse yourselves in each other will help that feeling of wanting to only spend time together burn off faster.
- Your problems don’t seem to exist. Remember that credit card bill you have due? How about the promotion at work you were counting on that you didn’t get? When you allow yourself to experience the pure happiness that comes with being in a new relationship, your problems don’t overtake your thoughts. Yes, they’ll still be there when you come back down to Earth, but having a more balanced personal life will probably make you feel more complete and less like you need to freak out about everything that isn’t perfect.
- It had been way too long. It’s tough to find a good guy these days and even tougher to find one who wants to commit to one woman. Sometimes it feels like you’ll never be in another relationship again, but you are! You found a good guy. You’re allowed to enjoy the experience of the search being at least temporarily over and basking in the fact that you have found a good guy who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him. This doesn’t come around too often and you’re allowed to enjoy it.
- He’s doing it, too. Rarely do two wrongs make a right, but blowing off a few social engagements to be with a person you’re really into hardly qualifies as a wrong. As long as it’s reciprocal (along with the rest of your new relationship) and you’re not blowing off all of your friends and obligations and he’s not doing the same, you can take comfort in the fact that your new guy is just as anxious to spend as much time with you as you are with him.
