Dating isn’t a perfect science, and it never will be. Sometimes second dates happen, sometimes they don’t. But when you seem to fall into a pattern where you’re not hearing back from first dates even when it seemed like everything went well and you’d be up for round two… something is amiss. Here are some reasons why your first dates might be disappearing without a trace.
- You’re talking future. At some point talking about future is pretty standard in dating, but some first dates scare pretty easily when girls start talking about their future children and whatnot.
- He was dating multiple people. Maybe he decided to follow up with girl A and not girl B, C, and D.
- You come off as defensive. Getting to know people requires a certain amount of openness, and if it seems like you’re too opinionated people might not feel like they belong in your world.
- Guys get scared. Maybe even more scared than girls do. If he was just coming out of a long term relationship or realized he shouldn’t really be dating, he might have tensed up and backed away, at no fault of yours.
- Maybe you didn’t share enough opinions. Girls who try to be agreeable so they don’t come off as difficult can often read as boring instead.
- He didn’t want to hurt your feelings. He might have told you he would call, but sometimes that’s just a lame excuse that people use when they’re chickening out of being honest.
- You don’t let the guys plan anything. Yes, women are entitled to their opinions and to make date requests, but if the guys are asking you out, they might have ideas in mind and feel slightly steamrolled when you come in and switch things up right from the gate.
- He was just trying to get some. If a guy’s main intention is getting sex he might go through the motions of trying to land it on night one, and then immediately lose interest and move on whether he did or not.
- You were highly reactive. If your temper tends to flare up when your meal arrives wrong or when a driver cuts you off, you might have given him a glimpse of something he didn’t want to see.
- Sometimes men talk out what they’re thinking. If a guy seemed interested because he was mentioning spending more time together, he might have been getting ahead of himself before he had the chance to actually think it through.
- You talked about work the whole date. Men love a woman who can handle her business, but they also want to get to know you past your boss bitch side.
- You’re putting too much pressure on each date. If you’re going into each date hoping he’s the one to end all first dates, sometimes they can feel it. Not that you shouldn’t be optimistic about it, but wait until after the date to decide how you feel.
- He might like you but he might also be a commitment phobe. When men are nervous about committing, they offer defer to less desirable women so they won’t be tempted to stick around too long. His denying you might actually be a compliment, sort of.
