Why Do Men Lie? Explaining Why So Many Can’t (Or Won’t) Tell The Truth

Everyone is capable of telling a fib here and there, but why does it feel like men—particularly the ones we’re dating—can’t tell the truth to save their lives? Even if you confront them with evidence of something, they’ll still deny it to the end of their lives with a straight face and expect you to believe it. What gives? Here’s why men lie even when being honest is the decent thing to do. They don’t want to fight with you.

  1. They’re trying not to hurt you. Men often think (or try to convince themselves) that they’re doing the honorable thing when they lie because it means you won’t ever be hurt by the truth. This is especially true if they’ve cheated on you or betrayed you in some other way that they know would upset you or ruin the relationship. In a way, they are being protective of you, but it would have been much better if they’d never screwed you over to begin with, right?
  2. They don’t really care about you or the relationship. This is harsh but true. Some men lie simply because they don’t think they owe you the truth and they don’t care what you think about it. They’re not invested enough in your relationship to believe you deserve honesty or to even want to go there with you. The message here couldn’t be clearer: they’re losers.
  3. They don’t think you’ll believe the truth. Maybe something weird happened and the truth is too coincidental or outright insane to be believed and they know it. Because of this, they’ll lie to avoid having to try and convince you that the truth really is as it seems. This is a less common reason, of course, but it does happen.
  4. They don’t want to take responsibility for their actions. Sometimes being honest would require men to own up to the fact that they messed up. Oftentimes, this is not something they’re willing to do so they’ll lie instead. They’d rather you believe that they’re on top of everything or that they’re loyal and committed and would never act against that. It’s bull, of course, but they don’t realize that.
  5. They feel ashamed of their behavior. If they mess up badly, they might feel truly ashamed of their behavior and want to deny it so that they don’t have to confront their own embarrassment or disappointment in the way they acted. That doesn’t make it right, of course—it’s not your job to soften the blow of their bad decisions—but many men will lie out of self-preservation in this way.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia
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