Dating is hard enough on its own without adding anxiety to the mix. You’re constantly second-guessing your actions, wondering if the guy truly likes you, and almost counting on the arrival of eventual heartbreak. Here are 5 things that would be helpful for guys to know before dating the anxious girl:
- Consistency turns us on. We fear the unknown, so waiting to see whether you’ll text us today is pretty much a nightmare. That being said, we want to know that we can count on you. When your actions continuously match up with your words, we’ll in turn feel much more comfortable with you. We’re not asking for much, either — just that when you say you’ll call on your way home from work, you’ll do so. Otherwise, we’ll probably panic that you met someone else and are never going to speak to us again. (Just kidding – sort of.)
- You’ll probably get tired of our constant need for reassurance. All we want is for you to keep telling us it will be OK. Your words might seem like they’re not doing much, but they’re actually everything to us. Anxious people always fear the worst, and it can be difficult to calm us down in certain situations. Regardless, if you just make the slightest effort to demonstrate that you believe in us, that will remind us why we like you so much.
- Schedules are our best friends, and spontaneity is our enemy. It’s important to remember that we’re planners, and we like when things go the way we expect them to. If we have plans to go to a party together, we want to know where it is, who will be there, and the dress code (even if it’s three months from now) so we can prepare accordingly. Our need for details may be irritating at times, but understand that we just like to be in control as often as we can. While we are not necessarily trying to manipulate the situation to go perfectly, we also wouldn’t mind if it did.
- Choose your words carefully. We overanalyze everything, so try to avoid seemingly harmless jokes that we’ll likely take offense to. You’ll probably want to tell us to lighten up or relax, but don’t. That will only make things worse. While all couples have their arguments, it might seem like we are constantly trying to start one. In reality, we’re just so sensitive to criticism that any comment can be skewed that way in our minds.
- Although we crave the support, we also don’t want to be pitied. One of the toughest things about having anxiety is constantly feeling like we’re not strong enough. We often feel embarrassed for not being able to handle things the way others do, so it’s important to show that you care without feeling too sorry for us. Any day where we feel like we are managing our anxiety well is a sign of progress for us. That being said, you’ll gradually learn what sets us off and the right things to say – but try your best not to draw attention to it. Yes, it may create problems for us at times, but we also don’t want it to define us. If we’re important enough to you, you’ll work through our anxiety with us – and that means more to us than you’ll ever know.
