What To Do When A Guy Leaves Your Messages On Read

­­You finally gathered enough courage to bare your heart and soul to the guy. Or, the day came for you to put your foot down and confront bae on his shady behavior and his response was… no response. Waiting for a text back is above a queen and you should literally do anything else to occupy your time and mental space, but if you need help deciding what to choose, here are 10 suggestions.

  1. Read a book. Knowledge is power. Educate yourself. If you like listening better, there are always audiobooks or podcasts. Anything to help you learn something new and get your mind off that dude who didn’t respond.
  2. Meditate. Ground yourself. Control your breathing. Practice mindfulness. Promote a positive state of mind instead of dwelling on negative thoughts surrounding a lack of response.
  3. Start a new series on Netflix. This is really to keep you occupied so you don’t backslide your progress and wind up in his DMs. Unless there was some slim chance that the last thing you said didn’t require a follow-up, double texting is not going to help the situation. If you can get through several seasons of a show you’ve never watched before and still not hear back from him, you should assume your relationship prospect with him has reached its finale.
  4. Call a friend. It can’t hurt to put your phone to use. For one, it’ll confirm it still works. It will also prevent you from constantly checking it to make sure you didn’t get a text back and missed hearing the “ding.” And if he does call, at least you’ll be busy on the other line and not just sitting around putting your whole life on hold for him.
  5. Go out somewhere. Literally anywhere. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Clear your mind. Get some coffee with a friend. Treat yo’ self and do some retail therapy or get a pedicure. If you were dating you, you’d text back, right? So show your own self some love and care instead of thinking life has to come to a standstill over someone else.
  6. Write him a letter. It’s hard to hold back from texting someone you want to hear from, but you have to put your dignity first. It may help lower temptation if you do continue to talk to him…just not anywhere he will see it. If you want to stick with your phone, you can use your notes app, email, or a blank text message to send to either a friend or just no one. Say everything you want to say, tell him exactly how you feel, ask why he didn’t respond, etc. Get it all out of your system…just make sure it doesn’t actually go to him.
  7. Find another guy to talk to. If the guy you’re currently dealing with doesn’t even want to continue a conversation with you, you don’t need to keep all your eggs in one basket with him. If you don’t have a title, there’s no commitment. He might’ve blown you off because he was busy entertaining other people to talk to as well. Look for someone else who has more time and interest in talking to you and you may forget about the original non-responder eventually anyway.
  8. Pick up a hobby. It’s pretty crummy when your fling ends, and you realize you have nothing left to do with yourself. Break-ups and fizzled out situationships won’t hit as hard if you’re a busy person with a lot going for you. Even if the relationship does take off, it’s always good to have your individual sense of who you are and not get too wrapped up in someone else. It may flatter your partner at first, but eventually can be stifling. Think about things you enjoy doing, develop some of your skills, and enjoy life with or without someone at your side. You should invest in your happiness so that whatever the outcome is with a guy, you’re still the same.
  9. Give yourself closure. Everyone at some point wants to believe they’re the exception to the rule. It’s been said over and over not to go back and ask for a reason when you’re ghosted or broken up with. I’ve done it twice and neither had good results. The first guy flat out refused to give a reason and just stuck with his “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel. The second one apologized, which gave me false hope for all of the next two minutes before he started acting like a jerk all over again. Take the silence or “readness” as your answer and leave it there. He’s not “The One.” You can do better. You deserve better. That’s all you need to know.
  10. Take a break from dating. If you’re attracting guys who lack basic human decency, have poor communication skills, or are toxic individuals, it might be a good time to step back and evaluate what about you draws these types in. It may not necessarily be anything you’re doing wrong, but if you don’t set your standards high and keep your boundaries firm, some shady characters might slip through the cracks. You may just be too nice. It might not hurt to pause for a moment and press reset on your man picker for better luck next time.
I’m Cara, not to be confused with Carrie, although you could say I’m a Millennial Bradshaw of sorts. Pop culture connoisseur. Lover of all things creative and passionate about health and personal well-being. Follow me on IG @cara_vale_writer
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