It seems like after every breakup, there’s that period of no contact so that both parties can heal. While it’s likely what’s best for everyone after a long-term relationship, the no contact period is by no means easy. Perhaps the biggest problem is that you have no idea what the other person is thinking. As a guy, I know that I’m always curious about what’s on a woman’s mind at this time, so I can only assume it’s the same for you. Granted, all guys are a little different and you probably know your former paramour better than most. However, here’s a little insight into some of the things that are probably going through their minds.
- What happened? Bewilderment is a common emotion guys tend to feel if there is a breakup but not a lot of closure. He can’t call and ask you what happened, so his mind will be flooded with thoughts of what he did wrong or what changed in the relationship. For men, it’s usually in our nature to try to make sense of the situation and look for answers. That’s why we rack our brains for why the relationship ended.
- How can I fix this? It’s also in the nature of guys to fix things. Most of the time, if something is broken, we can assume that we can fix it. That’s why the thought process of what happened is usually followed by what we can do to repair whatever it is that’s broken. Obviously, it’s not always going to be that simple, but most guys will usually spend that time without you thinking about trying to get you back.
- I never should have taken her for granted. Not all guys will have this level of self-awareness, but some will come to the realization that they took the relationship for granted. They might have put things on cruise control and not paid as much attention to you and the relationship as they should have been. This is a common thought because again, it’s something that most guys think they can fix if they get another chance.
- Does she miss me? For guys, this is the million-dollar question during the no-contact period. I like to think that it’s the same for women too. We rack our brains almost to the point of driving ourselves crazy about whether or not our ex is pining for us. If we knew that, then at least we’d know there was some hope for the future.
- Is she better off without me? After a certain amount of time without hearing from someone, it’s only natural to start thinking this. Usually, it comes from a place of fear. After all, if your ex hasn’t broken the contact barrier yet, perhaps they’re better off without you. That’s a thought that most guys will experience the longer they go without any contact. We just assume that if you weren’t doing that well, she would get in touch.
- How can I get her to break the silence? At times, desperation can lead to manipulation. Rather than being the first one to reach out, a guy will start brainstorming ways that he can get you to contact him. Of course, there aren’t a lot of good ideas to accomplish this, but some half-baked ideas could float into a guy’s head during this time.
- Who is she with now? The longer the no contact period lasts, the more guys start to assume that their exes have moved on without them. This is not a fun time because paranoia can quickly take over. They start to think that the women moved on and wonder about who’s you’re seeing. Is she dating? Is she keeping it casual? Is she already starting something serious?
- I hate her. This feeling comes more out of frustration than anything else. Rest assured, your ex doesn’t actually hate you, he just hates the situation. He hates that you haven’t been in touch and it’s setting in that things could be over for good. The only way he can cope with this situation is to tell himself that you’re the enemy, but I assure you that’s not the truth.
- Will I ever see her again? If the period of no contact continues, guys eventually start to wonder if they’ll ever see you again. These are some dark days for us. Not only do we assume that it’s over, but also we fear that we’ll never even have a chance to speak to you again. Even if we start to move on and begin to accept the breakup, it can be a harsh realization to accept.
- Whatever, I don’t care. Again, they might think this but it’s highly unlikely that they mean it. It’s just another way of coping with how hard it can be to have no contact with someone after a breakup. It’s all we can tell ourselves that we’re okay with the breakup, even if it’s not even close to being true.
