I’ve finally reached a place in my life where I want to be with someone instead of feeling like I need a relationship to fill a void inside me. It took a long time, but I’m very proud of myself for getting here. Here are the reasons I’m now perfectly fine surviving without love:
- I adore being alone. I was always a loner, even as a child. I got older and gained baggage and thought I needed someone to love me to feel fulfilled, but I always liked my space. Now I’ve done some self-study and come full circle, back to where I’m comfortable alone. In fact, it’s usually a lot easier for me than being with someone else.
- I’ve learned to love myself. Part of the reason that I clung so desperately to relationships before was because I didn’t love myself. I needed a guy to validate that I was worthy of love. It never satisfied me because I had no love inside for myself. Now I genuinely like who I am and I don’t need a guy to tell me that I’m worth something.
- I understand now that true love for another doesn’t mean dependency. Man, it took many years to figure this one out! I never knew that I was co-dependent but in retrospect, I can see all the glaring issues. I was looking to fulfill myself through a relationship because I didn’t know who I was. Now I seek an equal love with someone who can stand beside me.
- I’m very careful and selective about who gets the gift of my attention. It’s a good thing that I’m cool being on my own because I hardly date at all. I’m very picky about who I give a piece of my limited time. I’m so busy that I don’t have a lot of attention and energy for something new. I need to know that the man I’m with deserves and appreciates my time as much as my friends do.
- I usually enjoy life more without a partner. I’ve gone from needing someone to the opposite extreme — I’m happier single. This is why I don’t date. It takes me very little time to figure out that most guys aren’t worth giving up my solo life. It’ll require a very special guy to get me to settle down and relinquish some of my freedom.
- I’ve learned how to let go of the wrong people. I grew up wanting everyone to like me. I hated the idea of anyone judging me or making fun of me, and it happened a lot when I was a teenager. I had a hard time letting go of what people think. I finally did it and I feel incredibly liberated. That has, in turn, allowed me to recognize toxic people in my life and get rid of them, including men.
- I’ll be happy if the right man comes along, but I’m not lonely. It feels amazing to wait and choose what I want instead of going for the first prospect who comes along. I used to be so excited when someone who I liked actually liked me back that I’d jump in with little regard for whether we had long-term potential. This got me into regrettable situations. Now I’m content to chill on my own and see what happens.
- I’ve filled up my life with all sorts of other love. I have an amazing family and a huge, lovely group of wonderful friends. I’ve spent years building lasting connections with people who will stick by me through anything. No matter how many men pass through, my friends remain. I know that they’re the true loves of my life and I feel fulfilled whether or not I’m romantically involved.
- I’m extremely comfortable with who I am. It took me a long time to get here so I’m going to enjoy it! I love the person I am — a person I once hated. I could hardly stand to look at myself in the mirror, I was so out of touch with myself. I now accept and embrace myself even when it’s tough. I know that I have no choice or I’ll live a depressed existence. I love myself and I don’t need a man to do it for me.
- I work on myself every day instead of giving all my energy to a relationship. I used to pour my heart and soul into my partnerships. I didn’t want to admit that I had no idea where my life was going, so I gave my all to my boyfriend instead. It felt so much easier, but when I went through a breakup, I came undone. Now I put in work every day to make sure I’m never in that situation again.
- I’m not willing to settle for less than I deserve. I never believed I deserved what I wanted, so I would settle for men who didn’t make me happy. I hardly knew what I wanted in the first place anyway. Now I know what I deserve and what I want, and I’m going to go on living my best life regardless of whether the right man comes along or not.
- I now know that I deserve a lot! I was always so afraid before to ask for what I wanted and speak up for myself. It’s still difficult at times, I won’t lie, but I force myself to do it because I know that it’ll be better for all parties involved. Funny enough, men can’t read my mind. I always thought my perfect guy would automatically understand and know me, but that’s not reality. Now I ask for what I know I deserve.
- It’s beyond rewarding to have the freedom to choose love instead of chasing it. I don’t feel any sort of pressure to find love. I have no timeline. I’m just living my best life day-by-day. This is the happiest I’ve ever been so I’m going to breathe and appreciate it. Now that I’ve figured out what I want, it’s a lot more likely to come around. Until then, I’ll keep on appreciating every moment the best that I can!