You Want To Do WHAT?! 8 Ways To Handle His Kinky Requests

It’s been a long day and all you really want to do is get down and dirty with your man. You start to take your clothes off when suddenly, he blindsides you with some strange request. Your first thought is “He wants me to do what?!” Maybe you didn’t hear him correctly, so you ask him to repeat himself. Nope, he’s decided it’s time to start asking for some odd bedroom requests. Depending on what he’s asked, you might need a minute to figure out what to do next.

  1. Say “Hell no!” It’s your body and your choice. If he wants to tie you down and drag out random whips, let him know you’re just not into the whole 50 Shades of Grey thing. Maybe he wants to try some odd position he glanced at while you were reading Cosmo. Let’s face it, most of those positions are made for contortionists. If you’re not comfortable, say no and get on with what you usually do.
  2. Give it a shot, sort of. A guy’s not evil for wanting to try new things, but some guys instantly go to extremes. Try compromising before turning him down. If you don’t like the way your breasts look in position A, try position B instead, which is something slightly similar. Odds are, he’ll be happy to compromise. He still gets something new and you’re not diving headfirst out of your comfort zone. We all know what a turn off that can be.
  3. Get a little kinky. Screw ladylike – rip his clothes off and get a little kinky. If the idea of what he asks turns you on even a little, let your inner wild child out to play. It’s just the two of you… unless, of course, he wants a threesome. Of course, that’s an entirely different type of request. Even if it doesn’t go right, you’re having fun and getting to see all the best bits of your man.
  4. Make a deal. Sex is a powerful tool – use it to your advantage. He wants to put a toy in a new place? Ask him to try it first. He wants to try an awkward position? Counter with one of your own. Now is the time to get something you really want in bed, too. It’s also a way to get him to change his mind if you offer up conditions you know he’ll never agree to. Either way, you’re going to win, so start haggling.
  5. Give him other visuals. If you have certain things you simply won’t do, don’t try to force it just to make him happy. I know it’s supposed to be a big no-no to let guys watch sex on the internet, but it’s useful in this case. He gets to see something that drives him crazy and you get the pleasure of the big finale after he’s watched a few videos. It might not be quite the same, but it’s a great compromise for those random requests you know you’ll never do.
  6. Figure out why he likes it. Unless it’s something incredibly offensive or disgusting, take a moment to talk about it before shooting him down. Ask him why he wants to do whatever it is he wants to do. It might not be the position or act itself. It could be he thinks it’ll please you more or it’ll make him last longer. The better you understand the reason, the easier it’ll be for you to find a good compromise if possible.
  7. Start off small. Guys don’t really understand the concept of baby steps. It’s all or nothing for them. You’re the smart one, so tell him you’re willing to try, but only a little at a time. For instance, if he wants to try bondage, start with a loosely tied scarf around your wrists that’s easy to slip out of if you’re not comfortable. Starting off small gives you a chance to see if you like it or not.
  8. Just get naked. The one solution that always works without fail is just get naked. The upper brain ceases to function the moment your clothes come off. Bounce around a little in front of him and he’ll forget all about any weird new requests. Once you have his lower brain’s full attention, proceed as normal. He’s getting sex. He’ll be happy.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.
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