What do you do when video games start taking over your relationship? It might sound trivial, but this was a genuine problem I had with my last boyfriend and it eventually led to our untimely breakup. Here’s why it was such a big deal.
- Video games took up so much of his time. It’s no secret that a gal wants to feel wanted in a relationship, so You can imagine how it made me feel when I used to sleep over at his house and the next morning he would choose to play video games over making us breakfast in bed. Uh, hello? You can play that crap all you want when I’m gone. The time we spent together was limited and precious, so I could never understand why he’d rather spend his time with his video games instead of me.
- They cost him tons of money. I wasn’t suggesting that he shouldn’t buy any video games when they clearly made him so happy but did he really have to spend hundreds of dollars every month just to virtually shoot down a bunch of aliens? That money could have gone to bigger and better things, like a romantic vacation for the two of us. Guys should have a budget for video games, for sure, if that’s what they’re into, but also they should know their priorities.
- The distraction caused arguments. It might sound ridiculous, but video games caused a lot of bickering with my ex-boyfriend. Sometimes I’d be at his house and he’d want to play them while I watched a movie he didn’t like. That’s fine, but trying to have a conversation with a guy while he’s playing video games? Practically impossible. Even if it was only to ask him if he’d like a cookie with his cup of tea, he’d just sit there gawking at the TV screen, not answering my questions and acting as if I wasn’t there. Not cool.
- He’d choose video games over me. Instead of coming to bed after spending the night together, he’d just want to play video games. This led to me going to bed without him. In his house. Even with the possibility of sex on the cards, he’d still turn me down for video games. After a while, I started to realize that this wasn’t normal and it certainly wasn’t fair.
- Video games are so noisy. Have you ever tried to get to sleep while your guy is playing video games? No? Well, let me break it down for you—there’s just no chance of it happening. Zero. Video games are loud, they’re distracting and certainly not ideal when all you want is peace and quiet. Cozy Sunday nights in? Forget it. If my boyfriend was set on being a part of his FIFA team that evening, there was more of a chance of pigs flying than getting any quiet chill time together.
- I wished he was just as attentive towards me. At times, all I wanted was for him to make just as much effort with me as he did with his video games. When he was playing, all his focus and energy would be on that one game. However, he couldn’t show me the same courtesy in all aspects of our relationship. Cracks started to show, and at times I found myself getting jealous of the time he spent with his games. I know, right?
- He was acting 10 years younger. When I approached him about my feelings towards his video games, the guy just laughed in my face. He didn’t take me seriously, therefore I stopped taking him seriously. Did he really need to play video games every day, even if I was over at his house? I know video games are popular, but that’s something a 13-year-old boy would do. Dude, you’ve got a real-life girlfriend now and you’re in a grown-up relationship. Start acting like a grown-up, yeah?
- He got way too lazy. A little laziness I could handle; after all, I can be a little lazy at times. But it got to a point where all my guy wanted to do was have nights at his house together where he had full access to his video games if he felt like playing, regardless of what I wanted to do. He didn’t want to go out, he didn’t want to take me anywhere, and he certainly didn’t want to do anything. Perhaps he got too comfortable with me, I don’t know. I just knew I couldn’t handle it anymore.
- Why couldn’t he live in the real world? I get that gaming can be a way for someone to unwind, just like binge-watching episodes on Netflix is my way of unwinding. But, I don’t spend hours and hours and hours every day on my Netflix account and I certainly don’t choose Netflix over my other half. Or ignore my other half when I feel like watching Netflix, regardless of their wants and wishes. At the end of the day, have fun playing games and living in the virtual world if you enjoy it, but don’t lose touch with reality. It doesn’t end well for anyone.
- Video games broke us. In the case of my ex-boyfriend, it soon became obvious that video games were his first (and very much current) true love, so there was no point in continuing the relationship. Especially when he didn’t get how I felt and just laughed it off every time I tried to explain my feelings, even if I threatened to end things with us. When I did eventually go through with the breakup, I told him that the video games were at the root of the problem. Did he seem hurt by this? I don’t think so. But if he was, at least he still had his video games to help get him through the pain.
