The Truth About Dating When You’re A Homebody

The Truth About Dating When You’re A Homebody ©iStock/AleksandarNakic

In the pre-Netflix era, being a homebody meant you were kind of a loser. Choosing tea and a good book over a hot Friday night date seemed so weird – why would anyone want to stay home instead of going out? Now, we all love curling up on the couch on a weeknight or entire weekend, taking a break from our busy lives. Still, some of us are more inclined to hang out at home than others. So what happens when you like staying in but actually want to date? Here’s the truth about dating when you’re a homebody:

  1. Netflix counts as a date. You’re confused that the world thinks Netflix and chill is a bad thing. If you invite a guy over to watch a show, you literally want to watch it. You’re not opposed to some making out – okay, you definitely are into that idea – but it’s not an excuse for a hook-up. It sounds like the perfect evening.
  2. You’re picky about dates. You could be home watching TV. You have seasons upon seasons of glorious TV (past and present) to catch up on. Missing out on the latest Netflix fad is not worth another completely boring first date where you have nothing to say to this person. Your friends probably think you’re way too choosy but you know the truth: a guy has to be completely amazing to compete with your Gilmore Girls rewatch.
  3. You cook for your new guy super soon. Your BFF is confused that you’re making the guy you’re seeing dinner when it’s only been a few weeks, but to you it makes perfect sense. You love being at home, you love cooking, and you’d rather whip up something easy instead of spending a fortune at a crowded restaurant. Plus it gets rid of the whole who-should-pay debate.
  4. Sometimes you just don’t care. You’re single and want to fall in love… at some point. Right now you have some reality TV to watch in total and utter privacy. When your friends gush about their good dates or whine about their bad ones, sometimes you can’t relate, because you go through periods where dating holds no interest for you.
  5. You look like you put zero effort in. It’s not like you show up to a first date, party or drinks with your BFFs wearing sweatpants. But you don’t put on tons of make-up and a sparkly dress and heels, either. Maybe people think you’re way too casual about your appearance but you don’t really care. Leggings are an acceptable form of pants, you swear.
  6. Things get confusing quickly. On the one hand it looks like you’re just hooking-up with your new guy because you’re staying in all the time. On the other hand, it seems like it’s getting serious because it feels like you’re living together. Basically, you’re totally confused.
  7. You never want to stay over. You like this guy, you really do, and yet your bed has this powerful hold over you. You’re always insisting that he stay over at your apartment instead. You’re basically co-dependent when it comes to being in your own space most of the time. He probably doesn’t mind, anyway.
  8. You always initiate The Talk. You know, the hugely scary one that everyone is always trying to avoid. After a few weeks of something that seems to be approaching a relationship, you have no problem asking a guy what he’s thinking and how he feels. You don’t have time for vague hang-outs — you’re a busy person, you have stuff to do (or, um, watch).
  9. It’s real when you want to go out. If you actually suggest leaving your apartment, you’re seriously into this person. You’ll actually want to put on a pretty dress over your leggings and head out for dinner/to a movie/etc. That’s the ultimate goal for any homebody: finding a guy you like enough to leave the house.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.
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