How Treating Every Date With My Boyfriend Like It’s Our First Keeps Our Relationship Fresh

First dates are nerve-racking and often downright painful, but when the rare one progresses and turns into an actual relationship, you realize that all the BS was totally worth it. I’ve never been happier than I am with my boyfriend, and one of the ways we’ve kept the initial magic alive is by treating every date like it’s our first. Here’s why it works:

  1. It’s so much fun. For starters, imagining that I’m meeting my BF for the first time is enjoyable. I dress up, take care to do my makeup correctly and hope to make a great impression even though he knows me. It’s sort of like living that excitement of the unknown again, which is sure to create sparks.
  2. It prevents things from getting too comfortable. I hate seeing couples sitting at dinner not saying a word to each other. That is relationship suicide, IMHO. Thankfully, my boyfriend and I have made a concerted effort to always have something interesting to talk about when we’re together. Why does that ever have to change?
  3. I get to enjoy feeling first-date butterflies forever. The first moment I saw my BF, I thought how gorgeous he looked and how he gave me butterflies. By pretending it’s our first date and the first time I’m seeing him, I get to re-live that feeling. I still pinch myself because I can’t believe he’s mine and I’m grateful for him.
  4. It’s about living each day like it’s my last. I’m all about focusing on the moment. Instead of dates becoming a big blur, by pretending it’s the first date every time, I live every single minute intensely and with all my senses. It rocks and makes for memorable times together.
  5. It makes me value myself. The benefits are not just relationship-based. If I take care to make a great impression with how I look and what I say, it makes me feel confident. And when I feel and look good, that is sure to keep him interested and keep our relationship healthier, I reckon.
  6. It pushes us to learn more about each other. Sure, we know each other pretty well, but there are always new things to discover. A way to explore that is to see dates as our first one. First dates are all about showing interest in each other’s feelings, thoughts, goals and dreams. By talking about this stuff as if it were a first date, we keep learning more about each other and becoming even closer.
  7. It makes us put in the effort to continue going on dates. Having a fun date regularly and treating it like an exciting first one is a must to prevent falling into a comfort zone. If we keep having date nights, we get to experience that fun of doing stuff together, which keeps things fresh and ensures we don’t drift.
  8. It keeps the spark alive. My BF and I have a lot of spark in our relationship, but I quite like the idea of keeping it burning brightly by treating dates like our first. It means that we continue finding ways to have a good time, from the places we go to what we do on those dates, and that connection is really what the spark is about.
  9. It’s about respect. First date etiquette, such as not phubbing him over dinner and being on time, should not fall away just because we’ve been on lots of dates. That’s BS! Respect should continue during the relationship and I’m all for it!
  10. It’s about keeping that good impression going. I remain my courteous, warm, funny self. It’s not just to make a good first impression because that was done on the real first date, but rather to remain the cool person I was. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that person when relationships settle into a comfortable zone, but that’s BS! I always want to be the person he fell for, so I’ll continue making the effort.
  11. I value him. I think choosing to treat dates like they’re the first one really show my BF that I value him. I make an effort, with conversation and my appearance, and this is one of the ways I show him how much I love being with him. I don’t want to rock up with my hair a mess and in a tracksuit, comfortable enough to sit on my phone. That’s such crap. I respect and love him, and show that in how I behave as well as how I care about myself.
  12. I can be more exciting than I was on the first date. The best thing about pretending to go on first dates is that the dates can break those real-life first date rules. Number one: I can have sex with him without worrying about my reputation or where things are going (woo-hoo!). Number two: I can reach over and kiss him madly without being shy (double woo-hoo!). Number three: we can be playful and silly without worrying about weirding each other out. And so many more things! Just knowing that I can do all those things is so exciting and makes me want to do them even more.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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