To say that the sex education I received in high-school was lacking would be overly generous. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that the majority of my sex knowledge I acquired through first hand experience. There was a lot of trial and error. A lot.
Since June is officially Adult Sex Education Month, here are a few things that I wish they would have told us about in sex ed class.
- It’s totally OK to masturbate if you’re female. Guys masturbating is considered “ha ha funny” (think the movie American Pie), whereas when it comes to women pleasuring themselves, it’s still looked upon as something slightly shameful. When I finally worked up the nerve to go buy a vibrator in university (after I watched that one episode of Sex and the City that everyone has seen) it was this clandestine, secretive act. Now that I own a whole drawer full of them, I realize it’s not a big deal at all. Toys are actually really empowering. I wish more people knew this. Plus, teachers always told us to have safe sex. Having sex with yourself is one of the safest kinds of sex around!
- Always, ALWAYS pee after sex. Years ago, I woke up one morning feeling like someone was stabbing my bladder with a handful of ice picks. Turns out it was only a bladder infection – something I later learned could have been prevented if I had gone to the bathroom after having sex with my boyfriend the night before. We received basic info about STIs, however it would have been nice to be aware of different stuff that could happen to my body like bladder infections, yeast infections and the like.
- There’s nothing wrong with having casual sex, but sometimes it can lead to these uncomfortable things called “feelings.” Oh man, I was not prepared for this at all. Sex ed teaches you to wait until you’re married or at the very least, in a relationship with someone you love. However, life doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes you just want to hook up with someone because you think they’re totally hot. However, when you decide you like them and they decide not to call or text you after, the emotional sting can throw you for a loop.
- Not just straight people have sex. If I thought my sex ed experience was lacking, I can’t imagine how some of my gay classmates must have felt. Any knowledge I now have about gay sex has been acquired through the first hand experiences of friends or more recently, through late night binge-watching of The Real L-World. We can do better than this.
- Sex sometimes involves funny noises, unexpected fluids and (if you’re lucky) laughter. Sex isn’t this pristine thing, where the couple just fades off to the bottom of the screen like they do in the movies. In other words, it’s not always soft lighting and beds strewn with rose petals. Sometimes our bodies can make some pretty strange noises. Periods arrive unexpectedly. Sometimes things smell a bit different than what you expected. If you’re not mature enough to deal with this & hopefully, laugh it off with your partner, you’re probably not mature enough to be having sex.
- Loving sex and wanting it often doesn’t make you promiscuous, it makes you human. Enough said.
