I’m completely over the guy who dates me, keeps me up with late-night texts, and then drops the bomb that they’re “not ready for an official relationship” right when things look promising. It’s a waste of my time and quite frankly, somewhat of an insult. It’s okay if a guy isn’t looking for a serious relationship right now, but he never seems to state that right off the bat. Here are some of the things he’ll say if he’s planning on stringing you along forever.
- “Maybe next weekend.” If he’s hesitant to make and keep plans with you, you’re not a priority to him. In fact, he may be dating multiple people at once. Again, that’s okay if he’s been open with the arrangement. Otherwise, he’s not being honest with you. The weekend you actually hang out in public is the weekend where his other plans fell through.
- “‘Sup.” It’s simple enough. He wants to reach out but doesn’t have anything he wants to say. One single “‘sup” is kind of like saying, “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t move on from me just yet.” Any response back is a win to him, so consider leaving this message 0n read.
- “Sorry, I’m really busy with work.” Most of us are, but we still manage to shift plans around for what we want to do. “Busy at work” is a good one-time excuse that everyone should get, but anything more than that makes it look like he’s stringing you along. If you’re feeling particularly courageous, call him out on it — say you can bring over a pizza and the two of you can just hang at his place for an hour or so, or see if you can meet him during his lunch break at work if the two of you work close by. Chances are, he’ll create a secondary excuse.
- “I just need a little bit of space right now.” If he thinks you’re being a little too clingy, he’ll tell you that he needs some space. Expect him to recirculate in about a month, when he gets lonely. He’ll apologize for being in a bad place at the time and try to reel you back in. Don’t believe him — strong couples go through thick and thin together. He’ll probably cut you loose again the second he gets bored since he knows you’ll come back.
- “I’m not a PDA kind of guy.” Some people are turned off by it, but it’s not usually something you say at the beginning of the relationship. That’s the stage where the two of you can’t seem to get enough of each other. He’s telling you that he doesn’t want to appear attached if the two of you go out. A guy who only seems to be into you and concentrated on you when you’re alone is a guy who’s already looking for a way out of this arrangement.
- “Is it okay if your friends don’t come to this?” He’s going to try and avoid any sort of meet-up with your friends. He’ll claim he’s uncomfortable, or just wants to spend time with you. In truth, he knows that meeting your buddies is a big step forward and he doesn’t want to meet the people who’ll be severely judging him the second he tells you things are “moving too fast.”
- “I’m not usually like this, but I can see a future with you.” This is just a line to get you to fall for him. Actual players never state they’re players. You’ll get caught up in the illusion that you can “change him,” but you’ll never be able to. Expect this entire relationship to fizzle out in about a month, when he remembers that he’s not interested in commitment.
- “Maybe I’m just a failure.” Guys like to keep women around who can boost their ego. He’ll tell you about how he’s bad with love, bad with holding down a job, or bad with commitment. In doing so, he’ll expect you to boost him up and make him feel good. You might get a lot of these sad texts, and in the moment, you’ll feel like you’re making a big difference in his life. But, bet on him using the “failure” lines later to end things with you. When guys openly tell you who they are, believe them.
- “I don’t believe in labels.” When a guy says he hates labels, it means that he’s looking to sleep with as many people as he can right now. He’s not going to magically fall in love with you and decide that you’re the girl who’ll turn him into a committed boyfriend since life’s not a movie.
- “Why are you talking to him? He’s a jerk.” He’ll be quick to block you from anyone who’ll give you a satisfying relationship. Remember, this guy is all about his ego. He might not want you, but if someone else gets the chance to have you, he’ll fake it in order to scare him away. When this happens, remember that this guy isn’t looking out for you or your happiness. He just wants to feel good about himself.
