There’s No Map To “The One,” But I’m Loving The Journey

I want to find true, lasting love, but that takes time and effort — it doesn’t happen right away. I’m making myself available by going on dates and I’m totally open to meeting a great guy but I realize it’ll probably be a while before I do. While there’s no map to finding “The One,” I’m fine with that — I’m enjoying the journey anyway. Here’s why:

  1. If it’s meant to be, we’ll find each other. I believe in fate, so why would I waste my time obsessively looking for love when I know that if it’s destiny, we’ll find each other regardless of what else is happening? I believe in true love — the idea that there’s someone out there for everyone — so I’m putting my faith in that concept because no matter what path I take, I know I’ll end up exactly where I’m supposed to be.
  2. I’m in no rush to find love. When it happens, it happens, but I don’t need to rush it along. Rushing to find love can just make you look desperate. If I’m looking for love, I might start believing a guy is Mr. Right when he’s really another Mr. Wrong. I’m not going to force it because in my opinion, true love is worth the wait.
  3. I want to appreciate the single life while it lasts. While some women are praying every night that they meet a good guy the next day, I’m choosing to enjoy the single life while I still have it. Someday, when I have babies and husband to take care of, I’m going to miss the simple days when I was single and life was easy. I know it only gets harder and busier from here, so I don’t want to take this time for granted.
  4. I want my life to have more meaning than just being some guy’s girl. I’m worth more than to just be the girl standing next to some guy. My life’s goal isn’t to be a wife — I want to be so much more than that. I’m going to check off more boxes because it’s 2016 and a man doesn’t determine my worth.
  5. I’m enjoying my freedom. Is that so surprising? Before I know it, I’ll be settled down with kids and a husband, reminiscing about the days when my life was my own. It’s not that I won’t love my future family because I will. It’s that eventually my life is going to be all about them, and right now (and only for right now), it’s all about me.
  6. Love is all about timing. If the timing is off, the whole relationship can be off, so why would I try to rush my happy ending, all for love to fail due to bad timing? When the timing’s right, that’s when I’ll meet the guy I’m going to spend my life with, so I’m going to wait until I’m good and ready. I have plenty of things to do before then.
  7. I’m busy falling in love with myself. Loving a man will mean nothing if I don’t love myself first. Right now while I’m single is the best time in the world to really get to know myself. I want to really figure out who I am and what I want out of life. I’m single and I’m learning to love myself for exactly who I am, flaws included.
  8. I’m learning how to be truly independent. My goal is to want a man, not need one. Right now, the only person I have to depend on is myself and that feels so good. Knowing I can make it on my own as a single woman is the best confidence boost in the world. When I finally meet the man of my dreams, I’ll know I’m with him purely out of love, not necessity.
  9. I’m happy on my own. Surprise, surprise, I don’t need a guy or a relationship to make me happy. My happiness comes from within, and since I’m determined to create an amazing life for myself, full of amazing friends, family, passions, hobbies, a career, etc. — I’m good.
  10. I’m willing to wait for Mr. Right. I refuse to settle. I’m not going to live a life of basic contentment when I know I’m missing out on happiness. I believe in the idea of “The One” and I deserve to find him. I’d rather be alone than be with Mr. Wrong because I’m fully confident that Mr. Right will be worth the wait.
  11. It’s not all about the destination. Life is just as much about the journey. The things I’m experiencing while I’m single are shaping me into the person I’m supposed to be. That person will be the woman that some guy falls madly in love with, so it’s not all about where I’m going. It’s just as much about how I get there.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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