It’s no secret that status is essential in today’s society, and people are willing to go to great lengths to inflate their social worth. Cue social climbers, annoying pretentious pests who step on others to make themselves look better and use friendships and connections to secure status. We’ve all dealt with people like this, and most have daydreamed about setting them straight. Lucky for you, we’ve compiled a list of surefire ways to shut down a pretentious social climber once and for all.
1. Call them on their bluff.
A well-known tactic of social climbing is to inflate your own worth, be that through devaluing others or overstating their own ability. When a social climber makes a bold statement, and you know it’s not true, call them on it! If a pretentious coworker was bragging about his numbers last quarter, feel free to interject with, “Really? I thought I heard (another coworker) was the top seller last quarter” or “I put up numbers similar to that.” Checking their ego and inflated self-worth will surely bring them down a notch.
2. Don’t let their patronizing phase you.
Let’s say you wear a new outfit to school, and the social climber makes a snide comment like, “You know that brand has been out of fashion for a while now, right?” They may be trying to look helpful, but it’s a clear sign they’re trying to put you down and they think they’re better than you. They take something you have pride in and try to flip it into something inconsequential, but there’s no need to let them. Being earnest and letting your pride prevail is an excellent way to make this form of bullying fall flat. Responding honestly, “Well, I’m new to fashion, but I just really liked this outfit, and I feel good wearing it,” should send those parasites packing.
3. Don’t let them bully.
It’s not uncommon for someone who is a social climber to talk badly of or intimidate others around them. By differentiating themselves from other people and their “bad behavior,” they try to make it seem that they have a better way of doing things. They may even be so bold as to attack the character of someone who isn’t around to defend themselves. Please don’t allow them to speak poorly of others when you witness this. You don’t need to be too aggressive, but a simple reminder that it’s a good idea to speak kindly of others should end their insufferable bullying.
4. Insist on an even playing field.
When social climbers want something, they will do whatever they can to leverage the playing field. If a big promotion is coming up at work, you might find these sponges in the boss’s office with a coffee every morning. However, when it comes time for the meeting to decide who gets the raise, bringing on a human resources person might be a good idea to ensure things are fair. Knowing the promotion recipient isn’t based on unfair tactics will simultaneously remind social climbers they can’t cheat their way to the top.
5. Change the conversation.
If a social climber is trying to leech off your contacts or constantly asking for invites to press events or parties, it might be time to drop them. However, if you can’t give them the slip, you might have to do a bit of conversational judo and flip the conversation into something more palatable. When they bring up an invite to the event, you might have to tell them you’re not going because you’ve decided to pick up a new hobby or because of a family emergency. If you want to be extra petty, you can spend a bit of time telling them about your sick granny in great detail, and hopefully, it’ll make them think twice about using you for clout next time.
6. Let their nature be known.
Call a spade a spade, and don’t allow social climbers to hide in the shadows looking for their next opportunity. If someone is a social climber, let your friends know. If the social climber tries to add them on Facebook or LinkedIn and your friend asks about it, discourage them from accepting the request. These people will always find someone to latch on to, so there’s no reason it should be anyone you know or care about. You could even go so far as to call them out in person for their manipulative tactics if their behavior is dangerous enough to warrant it.
7. Remind them of their position.
Social climbers will likely overstate how much value they bring to the table, regardless of where they are. Even someone in an intern position can be a social climber, and their pretentious nature will surely come through sooner than later. When people like this start talking about their significant contributions or their skills and value, reminding them that they’re doing the same thing as everyone else can humble them. You don’t have to put them down, but letting them know they’re not God’s gift to filing spreadsheets might be enough of a burn to teach them not to brag.
8. Make them earn it.
When someone says they’re the best, invite them to put their money where their mouth is. If someone says they’re fantastic at baking, it might be a good idea to put those skills to the test by signing them up for a community bake sale. When they get called on their bluff, these people will likely scramble and find some way to avoid showing the skill they were so eager to brag about. It makes them look powerless and shows people they aren’t trustworthy.
9. Tune out fake complaints.
Another popular tactic for social climbers is complaining about people pursuing or trying to emulate them. These are often fabricated scenarios that are not based on reality but rather a strawman they can point at to make themselves seem more robust and desirable. Don’t give these falsehoods any time; it’s better to tune them out together or provide a generic “that’s too bad” instead of feeding into a narrative or giving it power by reacting. If it continues, you might even be able to scold them for being negative or whiny, which will further discredit them socially.
10. Discourage negative talk.
No one enjoys negativity, but social climbers bring it in spades. Whether complaining about others, situations, or unfairness, there’s sure to be no shortage of gripes with these types. Remind them that how they talk and view the world affects those around them and that their negativity has no place in the community. It may even be worth going to a higher-level person to enforce this as a policy. By taking away some of the tactics they use for leveraging, you stop them from making sneaky moves to climb the social ladder.
11. Ask them specific questions.
Someone who claims to be an expert within a particular field should be able to answer a few pointed questions, wouldn’t you think? However, social climbers are only pretending to be experts, and if you poke a hole in their inflated sense of importance, they’re likely to crack under pressure. If someone is bragging about their expertise at work, ask them specific and difficult-to-answer questions and watch them flounder.
12. Redirect attempts at sarcasm and depreciation.
Imagine this: you ask a social climber what they’re doing for the weekend, and they respond with, “I don’t take weekends off; I actually work for a living.” Most people could tell it’s a sneaky way for the social climber to assert that they’re better than you. However, if you redirect this energy and double down, saying something like, “Well, most people have a life outside of work; I was trying to make conversation.” This strategy can discredit their attempt at being holier than thou and make them look silly or delusional.
13. Point out their desperation.
Getting called out sucks, but it does make us think twice the next time we want to act up. It might be worth trying it with your social climber. Next time they put someone down, brag about themselves, or complain, tell them that it’s apparent that they’re trying to social climb. It can be a bit of a mean tactic, so use it only when someone is particularly insufferable.
14. Don’t give them positive feedback.
Denying a social climber the positive feedback they crave can be a big blow to their ego. Perhaps they’re used to being treated well by the people in their circle or coddled by coworkers who have fed into their false claims, but you don’t have to encourage their behavior. By standing guard and refusing to let them coast, you force them to put more effort into honest self-improvement.
15. Let the trash take itself out.
Plenty of celebrities have risen from no status to the biggest names in media and fallen just as quickly. Maintaining relevance is hard when people realize you don’t measure up to the image you’re selling. If someone in your life is a pretentious social climber, you likely won’t have to do anything. They’ll reveal themselves for their bad behavior and blatant scheming, which will be their undoing. Just sit back, relax, and let them dig their own grave.
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