Maybe it’s because you grew up around brothers, or maybe you just want to keep it real and down to earth. Whatever the cause, your vocabulary tends to be, um, colorful. And while most people are just fine with it, others give you a hard time. It’s just one of those crappy double standards that men perpetuate. Well, here’s what I have to say about that: screw the haters. Here are the struggles of being a woman who loves to curse:
- You find yourself at a loss for words when you’re around children. You’re so busy reminding yourself of what you’re not supposed to say around them that you can barely think about what you can say. I mean, your two-year-old niece is screaming bloody murder about the piece of banana that she just threw on the floor herself. What are you supposed to say except “wtf?”
- You feel like your family doesn’t actually know what your real personality is like. You can turn on the super-polite version of yourself like a switch, but frankly that’s also the super-boring version. Cursing is just a part of your character, and you’re almost sad that your 90-year-old grandmother doesn’t get to see that.
- People assume you have a poor vocabulary. Actually, I can tell you off in completely proper English, but I’d much rather tell you to go screw yourself.
- You have to come up with a “translation chart” at work to remind yourself of what to say instead of cursing. “Are you kidding me?” becomes “Do you think we can reconsider this?” and “How the hell am I supposed to do that by the end of the day?” becomes “Sure boss, I’ll try my best to get that to you as soon as I can.”
- You know curses in so many languages that sometimes you have trouble choosing which one to use. You haven’t told someone off until you’ve told them that their madre es una puta.
- People think you’re just doing it for dramatic effect. No, I am not just trying to get your attention or turn as many heads as possible. Cursing is just a really effective way to express strong emotions, and its hard to turn it off when it becomes a part of your everyday language.
- If you’re in mixed company, women think you’re just doing it to be “one of the guys” and resent you for it. There are a lot of misconceptions about women who try to be “one of the guys” and one of them is that they’re trying too hard or that they have ulterior motives. Totally not true; we just want to be able to be ourselves.
- You’re guaranteed to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. If you don’t already have an embarrassing story about when you’ve blurted out an f-bomb at the most inopportune time, you will. Trust me. It’s inevitable. Screw it.
