If you’ve been single for a while now, you probably deserve a medal. While it’s true that you’ve put up with more crap than you really should, what’s also true is that sometimes you make dating a lot harder than it has to be. If you’re complaining about these 10 things, you need a reality check and maybe to stay single a little while longer:
- Dating apps. Yes, they suck. No, they’re not really as evil as you’ve decided that they are. They’re just a convenient way of meeting new guys. That’s honestly it. You can’t complain about annoying messages or one-word answers or guys who won’t meet you because the truth is, that’s totally normal. After all, if you met someone at a bar or a party, there’s no guarantee they wouldn’t disappoint you, either.
- Flakey people. A sign of the times or just human nature? You’re not sure, you just know that you hate how flakey your generation seems to be. Well, get over it — and learn to accept it. People are dealing with all kinds of stress and anxiety these days, from being overloaded at work to side hustles to thinking about the future. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you. Until you can accept that being flakey doesn’t make someone the worst ever, try being single a bit longer.
- Scheduling first dates. Not everyone is as organized as you are. Yeah, that sucks, but are you going to give up on every guy who can’t go on a date exactly when and where you want to? That doesn’t seem to be the best plan. Until you can let go a bit and stop controlling everything, you might want to embrace the solo life for the time being.
- Making an effort. You know you have to try if you want to find love, and you really hate that. You would rather sit back and let your future boyfriend walk into your life, ready to fall in love with you. The only problem? That’s never going to happen.
- Being patient. Stop whining about how you shouldn’t have to be so patient about finding love because honestly, no one really wants to hear it. Your single friends are dealing with the same thing… and so are the single guys out there. The happy couples that you know? Yeah, they had to be patient about finding each other and then they eventually did. Adopt a better attitude and the wait won’t seem so long.
- Dates that go nowhere. If you expect every first date to end up in a full-out relationship, then you already know that you’re being super naive. It would be great if that happened but then it wouldn’t be so hard to find love, would it? Until you can stop thinking that the world owes you this love story that you’re dreaming of, you should focus on living your life and being yourself. You will go on a good date that ends up somewhere soon enough.
- Having zero luck. Sure, you could wallow in the fact that you seem to be pretty unlucky these days when it comes to meeting great guys. Or you could figure it’s all part of the journey and just be happy that you’re living a life you love. It’s all about perspective. Expecting everything to be rosy all the time just means it’s time to stop focusing on love so much and start focusing on you.
- Being bored. Yup, boring dates are unfortunately a thing and you’re going to go on a lot more of them. There are no guarantees that a date is going to be interesting — you just have to suck it up and go on the date, letting whatever happens, happen. Sometimes you have to do things in life that are dull and there’s really no point whining about it. The boring dates are going to get you closer to the one date that’s anything but.
- The disappointment. Being single is full of ups and downs, and you’re going to be disappointed by people. You’ll think a guy really likes you and he’ll turn right around and say he doesn’t want anything serious. You’ll be all ready for a date and then get cancelled on an hour before. You can’t expect to face zero disappointments on your single woman journey, and why would you want to? They’re what make the good times so much better.
- The comparison trap. You should stop comparing yourself to your single friends and coupled up friends and all the people that seem to have it all together more than you do. Their lives aren’t as shiny and perfect as you think, so you might as well get over that. Your most confident solo BFFs still get down about dating and your coupled up friends still have problems of their own. Forget the comparison and keep your eyes on your own dating life. Once you can do that, you’ll absolutely find love when you’re supposed to.
