Confidence is a trait we typically admire in a prospective partner, but there’s a hard line between feeling yourself and being obnoxiously egotistical. Think you might be getting involved with a straight-up narcissist? Here are 13 signs he’s an egomaniac who’s more into himself than he’s into you… or anyone else.
- Your conversation always revolves around him. When you reflect back on your talks with him, you remember them less as actual conversations and more as him talking at you for hours at a time. If you feel like you can barely get in a word edgewise and it’s clear that he only ever wants to discuss what’s going on with him, get out of there ASAP.
- When you do get to talk, he never listens. Odds are, he’s on his phone or absentmindedly nodding when you do get an opportunity to share updates on your life. If you asked him 10 minutes later what you just said, I’d bet big money that a true narcissist wouldn’t have a clue.
- He’s over-the-top obsessed with his body. To the point that he’s constantly blowing you off for gym sessions and his entire Insta feed consists of shirtless pictures with #fitspo hashtags. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with living a healthy life or being into fitness, but when most of your hangouts consist of him demoing tricep dips for you and describing his last leg day in vivid detail, well, consider that the mark of a narcissist.
- In his eyes, your job is less important than his. This guy will likely be completely obsessed with his job to the point that he believes it’s a superior career to everyone else’s, especially yours. The moment you start to get comments like, “You’d never be able to handle what I deal with at work” or “That’s cute, honey” in reference to a big report you nailed at your job, get your butt out of there.
- You’ll never catch him planning anything for you. His birthday is nothing short of a national holiday while yours is barely a blip on the radar. Your birthday festivities are completely up to you to plan, and you’d better make sure they revolve around your partner’s schedule.
- When you do get gifts from him, they’re mainly to validate how amazing he is. You might occasionally get a gift from a self-involved partner, which is very sweet, but more often than not, those gifts are things he enjoys, proving once again that he has no real concept of you or your interests. And the worst part? He’ll never let you forget the “sweet gift he gave you that one time.” Groooooan.
- If you bring up the one-sided relationship, he’ll gaslight you immediately. Gaslighting is the extremely frustrating (and emotionally abusive) tactic of making your partner feel like they’re nuts while invalidating their concerns. Unable to see the negative things he’s bringing into the relationship because his egotistical privilege prevents him from seeing this, this guy will inevitably turn these complaints right back onto you.
- He doesn’t care about your sexual pleasure. There’s little to no communication in bed and everything they’re doing between the sheets is purely for his own gratification. Don’t be surprised if this dude is the type of jerk that has you go down on him and refuses to do the same for you. I can’t even.
- He has no interest in getting to know your friends or family. If you think he doesn’t care about hearing what you’re up to, he REALLY doesn’t care to hear about your BFF’s promotion or your dad’s newfound interest in gardening. A true sign of a wonderful partner is someone who not only likes being around your family but engages them in conversation and actually wants to hear what they’re up to. This guy is probably the exact opposite of that.
- Your existing plans don’t matter to his social calendar. God forbid you try to plan a night out when he was already getting dinner with the fam. Rather than agree to meet you out later or sit this one out, a self-involved guy won’t want to miss any of the fun—he’ll likely make you shuffle plans so he can be there too. However, when it comes to your schedule, you’re likely going to hear a whole bunch of, “Can’t you just reschedule?”
- He blatantly flirts right in front of you. Don’t forget, a guy who’s this egotistical thinks that he’s hot as hell, so you shouldn’t be surprised if he considers himself God’s gift to dating. He’ll firmly believe that someone as amazing as he is can’t be held down by something as silly as a “relationship” and he’ll find absolutely nothing wrong with throwing around some sexual vibes. Great.
- When you get into a fight, he’s never in the wrong. It’s hard to have a dialogue with someone who thinks they can do no wrong. Oftentimes, this will play right back into that little thing called gaslighting we mentioned earlier. No matter what you bring to the table for an adult discussion (or a straight-up fight), a true narcissist will turn everything back around on you and take none of the blame for themselves. Spoiler alert: you don’t need that nonsense and would be best to cut ties the moment this starts to flare up.
