23 Indisputable Signs He Loves You Even If He Doesn’t Say The Words (and 18 Signs He Doesn’t)

Everyone wants to hear that their partner loves them, but you can usually tell when someone feels that way about you even before those words are spoken. While it’s important to have a partner who can verbally share his feelings, there are ways to tell he loves you until he does. Here are a few signs that he’s already fallen for you.

1. You catch him looking at you for no reason in particular.

He’s so mesmerized by you that sometimes he just can’t look away. You can be sitting at your computer or chewing your dinner in silence and you’ll catch him looking at you. Either he’s lost in his own thoughts about how amazing you are or he’s wondering how he can tell you he loves you without ruining the moment with words. Sometimes silence says it all.

2. He values your opinion.

Whenever he’s struggling with a decision or unsure about how to move forward with something, you’re the first person he talks to. He trusts your intuition and knows you know him better than anyone. Even if he’s mostly made up his mind, he’ll still ask for your input because he is more than happy to change his mind if what you have to say rings true to him. And it usually does.

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4. He goes out of his way to take care of you.

You don’t have to ask him to rub your shoulders at the end of a long day or make you a coffee and a bagel when you’re running late for work. He does these things instinctively because his love for you makes him want to take care of you. With each of these actions, he’s showing you he loves you even if he doesn’t say the words.

5. He brags about you to his friends.

His boys are like family to him, so if he’s always talking about you to them, it means he’s playing for keeps and he truly loves you. He wants them to be as fond of you as he is, so he brags about how amazing you are and how lucky he is to have you in his life.

6. He always has your back.

When your colleagues are slacking and leaving you with double the workload, he’s there to point out that it’s unfair and can’t go on. If your best friend is being a jerk to you because she has a new boyfriend, he reminds you that friends are forever and guys come and go. When you’re doubting a decision you made, he insists that you have amazing intuition and that you should trust your gut. He’s an amazing part of your support system.

7. He goes out of his way to make your life better/easier.

This is a major sign that a guy loves you. He doesn’t mind doing things that take him a while or are inconvenient if it’s going to make your day a little less stressful. For instance, he might fill your car up with gas so that you’re not running late in the morning, or he’ll make dinner when he knows you’re working late and leaves it in the fridge so you can chill when you get home. That’s so sweet!

8. He listens even when what you’re saying has nothing to do with him.

He’s just as interested in listening to you talk about your coworkers or a memory from your childhood as he is in hearing you talk about him. He wants to hear everything you have to say because he wants to know everything about you and be as close to you as he possibly can be. He cares about you, and therefore cares about everything you care about.

9. He gets a little bit jealous (but not in a toxic way).

He knows what a catch he has in you and would never want to lose you, so when other guys show you attention, you can tell he’s a bit bothered by it. He never gets aggressive or takes his jealousy out on you — he loves you too much to disrespect you in that way.

10. He’s enthusiastic about making plans for your future.

You never feel like you’re putting him on the spot or making him uncomfortable when talking about the future. That’s because he often beats you to it. He loves talking about the things you’ll do months or even years in the future and he seems genuinely excited about it. It’s really adorable!

11. He always wants to be close to you.

When you’re sitting together on the couch, he pulls your legs onto his lap. When you’re in the kitchen, sometimes he comes over and randomly kisses your forehead. He just loves being in your company and being physically near you at all times and it feels amazing.

12. He remembers the details.

Nothing says “I love you” like a person who remembers even the most mundane things you’ve told them. When he remembers the name of someone you vaguely mentioned three weeks ago or cooks your favorite meal even though you forgot you ever told him you had one, you can be pretty sure that his feelings for you run deep.

13. He’s physical about it.

When someone goes out of their way to touch you in non-sexual ways, you can be pretty confident they’ve fallen for you. Even if they don’t know it themselves yet, their actions will tell you all you need to know. If he’s initiating hand-holding and coming closer just so he can touch your shoulder or brush the hair out of your eyes, he’s definitely fallen in love with you.

14. He compliments you genuinely.

Sure, he tells you that you look sexy and you have an incredible body, but when a guy loves you, he shows it by appreciating the things that matter most to you. He loves pointing out how intelligent you are or how funny, and he’s always boosting your confidence by pointing out the great qualities you have that make you a good employee, friend, daughter, sibling, and girlfriend.

15. He initiates making plans and is happy to take care of them completely.

He doesn’t leave it to you to plan date night — he comes prepared. He’s already thought about things he’d like to do with you, so he goes ahead and plans them out so that all you have to do is come along and have a good time.

16. He goes out of his way to spend time with you.

Even when it’s inconvenient or late or you both have to be up early, he makes sure you spend time together. He’ll make excuses to not go out with his friends just to be with you even though you’ve been together the last few nights. Basically, there’s nowhere he’d rather be than with you, especially if all you do is just stay home together.

17. He brags about you.

Whether he’s telling his friends that you’re the smartest person he’s ever met or informing his parents that you will definitely be the next CEO of the company you work for, his outward excitement and respect for you says it all. He’s so thrilled to be with you that he just can’t stop telling everyone how much he admires you.

18. He initiates conversations about the future.

Talking about the future is scary, no matter how you feel about someone. It will often lead to awkward and vulnerable conversations where the two of you are trying to figure out where the other person stands and whether or not it’s okay to sound excited or nervous. But as long as your partner wants to have the conversation, it’s clear they’re imagining a life with you.

19. He tries to comfort you when you feel bad.

Many guys are beside themselves when their girlfriends are in a bad mood. They don’t know how to make us feel better, so they don’t bother trying. However, when a guy loves you, he’ll try to do what he can to restore a smile to your face. Whether it’s making you a cup of tea, holding you for a while so you can cry it out, or simply listening to you vent, he wants you to be okay.

20. He doesn’t give up when times are tough.

It would be so easy for an uninvested guy to just walk away when you start fighting or when things aren’t easy or straightforward. However, you know he loves you when he’s there to stick it out and refuses to throw in the towel even when it’s tough. That’s commitment and dedication.

21. He makes you a priority no matter how busy he is.

Sure, you won’t always be able to hang out nonstop, but even when things are super hectic, he makes sure you know you’re on his mind and that he’s thinking of you. Even if he can only carve out an hour to meet up for a quick bite to eat, you’re high up on his list of priorities.

22. He would drop everything if you needed him.

It doesn’t matter what he was doing or how busy he was — if you need something, he’s there. Whether you get a flat tire on the side of the road or a family member suddenly gets ill or passes away, he’ll be right by your side.

23. He’s your biggest cheerleader and your number one fan.

No matter what you want to do in life, he believes you have the potential and the capability. He’s always there to remind you of just how capable you are and pushes you to be your best self. What an awesome guy!

24. He’s always there when you need help.

Whether it’s picking up some groceries because there’s no food in the house or painting the living room because the paint is old and peeling, a guy who loves you is always eager to help.

Signs he doesn’t love you

1. The communication is waning.

He rarely initiates conversation, and when you reach out, his responses seem disinterested or detached. You could go days without speaking to him and it’s like he wouldn’t notice or care. It probably would happen, too, if you weren’t messaging him.

2. He consistently avoids spending time with you.

Despite having plenty of free time, he consistently finds reasons or makes excuses not to spend time with you. He’d rather hang out with his boys or even sit around in an old pair of sweatpants playing on his PS5.

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4. He doesn’t show any physical affection.

Whether it’s a simple hug or more intimate gestures, the warmth and closeness you once shared seem to be dwindling or feel forced. You know he doesn’t love you when he no longer makes an effort to show you he does. It doesn’t matter if he’s never been into PDA — if he doesn’t even want to kiss or touch you in private, there’s a problem.

5. He never prioritizes your needs.

It’s all about what he wants, thinks, and feels. He never considers what you might need to feel happy and fulfilled in a relationship. In fact, even when you do express those needs, he writes them off as unimportant or makes vague promises to change but never does.

6. He doesn’t make plans for the future.

Talking about the future seems off-limits, and he avoids making any long-term plans or commitments with you. A guy who loves you will want to look forward to the life you’re building together. If that’s not happening, there is no future.

7. He doesn’t support you.

He’s absent during crucial moments when you need support, be it emotionally, mentally, or even physically. He acts like it’s a huge inconvenience when you’re sad or angry and will do anything to avoid being around you when you’re anything less than 100% cheerful.

8. Your intuition is telling you something is off.

You constantly feel something isn’t right or that he’s hiding something from you. Your gut is usually not wrong, so don’t ignore it…

9. He’s more secretive these days.

He used to tell you who he was hanging out with and what he was doing, but these days you never know where he is from one day to the next. When you ask, he acts like you’re invading his privacy in a major way. What exactly is he hiding?

10. You feel more like friends or acquaintances than romantic partners.

There’s a palpable distance between you two, and it often feels like you’re just random friends or colleagues than two people who are supposed to really love each other.

11. He never stands up for you.

When situations arise where you might expect him to stand up for you, he remains passive or sides with other people. Sometimes you even feel like he’s actively rooting against you even when he knows you’re right about things.

12. He doesn’t include you in his life.

He doesn’t invite you to family parties, invite you to be his plus-one for work events, or even invite you to come watch his basketball game over the weekend. It’s like he’s writing you out of his life story, and it feels awful.

13. You’re the one putting in all the effort to keep your relationship going.

The relationship feels one-sided, with you doing everything to keep your relationship from falling apart while he just coasts mindlessly, not caring either way. He doesn’t love you if he’s not willing to do anything to keep things afloat.

14. He avoids talking about anything serious.

He evades discussions about your relationship, feelings, or any issues that might arise. When you try to have conversations with him about anything real, he gets up and leaves the room or changes the subject. He just doesn’t care enough to want to work through things.

15. He doesn’t pay attention to you.

He doesn’t remember important details about your life or seems distracted when you share personal stories or feelings. If he’s too busy scrolling down his phone to actually listen to what’s coming out of your mouth, he doesn’t love you.

16. He compares you to other women he’s dated.

He makes negative comparisons, pointing out all the qualities his ex had that you don’t. Or, maybe he even compares you to strangers or women he knows in a bad way, making it clear that he thinks you’re less than.

17. You don’t trust him and vice versa.

He’s either overly suspicious of you or acts in ways that make you doubt his trustworthiness. Maybe he’s secretive with his phone or he exhibits behaviors that aren’t exactly loyal or confidence-inspiring. If he puts you in a place where you feel insecure about your relationship status, he’s gotta go.

18. He never shows you he appreciates you.

He rarely acknowledges or expresses gratitude for the things you do in the relationship. He takes you for granted regularly, and all the nice things you do go unnoticed. In fact, it’s like he simply expects them.

19. You feel lonely even when you’re together.

You could be sitting right next to each other on the couch and you might as well be alone for all the good it does you. You feel completely on your own when you’re around him, which is a sign he doesn’t love you (and maybe even that you don’t love him).

Rose Nolan is a writer and editor from Austin, TX who focuses on all things female and fabulous. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Theater from the University of Surrey and a Master's Degree in Law from the University of Law. She’s been writing professional since 2015 and, in addition to her work for Bolde, she’s also written for Ranker and Mashed. She's published articles on topics ranging from travel, higher education, women's lifestyle, law, food, celebrities, and more.
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