11 Signs Your “Good Guy” Is Actually Toxic

When you meet a seemingly great guy, there’s nothing worse than discovering that he’s not as great as you initially thought he was. You might think you finally found a good one, but here are 11 signs that he’s a toxic disaster.

  1. He loves to tease you. The problem is, it’s not really a joke. He says he’s “just kidding” when he mocks your clothing choices or says that you’re lazy, but honestly, he’s just using humor to mask his cruel intentions and make you doubt yourself.
  2. He can’t handle his jokes turned back onto him. He might be cool with joking around with you even though it’s not funny, but when you try to do that with him, he tells you that it’s not cool or calls you out for it in some other way. He’s not playing fair.
  3. He lied to you when he didn’t have to. It’s not always easy to know how to tell if a guy’s lying. However, maybe you know for a fact he was out with his friends even though he said he was working because one of them slipped up and posted a pic on Instagram. Why did he have to lie when he knows that you’re not the type of person to be clingy? When someone lies even though they don’t have to it’s a red flag.
  4. He calls his exes crazy. If he can’t seem to say anything nice about any of his exes, maybe he’s actually the toxic one who hurt them. This type of behavior can also point to a guy who wants you to feel sorry for him because he loves playing the victim card.
  5. He can’t deal with feelings. Don’t say that he just doesn’t know how to give you support when he sees you cry. Please. The guy leaves the room or tells you not to cry because he doesn’t have empathy. He’s writing off your feelings.
  6. He has to be the center of attention. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the life of the party, but notice what happens when your boyfriend isn’t. If he becomes withdrawn or acts pissed off that you’re getting more attention than him, he’s toxic. Seems you shouldn’t make him so important, either.
  7. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. If he’s angry but smiling at you even though you can see it looks forced, the guy’s toxic… and a little creepy, perhaps. Seriously, anyone who goes to such great lengths to hide what they’re really feeling is going to blow up at some point in the future. It’s just not healthy.
  8. He makes everyone out to be bad. It seems that everyone in his life is mean to him, whether that includes his friends, family members, or boss. At first, you might sympathize with him and feel sorry that he’s got to deal with so much drama, but be careful — if it seems like he attracts drama everywhere he goes, then maybe he’s a drama king.
  9. He says he can’t be without you. Yeah, it’s romantic to hear that the guy you’re dating can’t bear to be without you… until it’s not. If he tells you this kind of thing when you’re on your way out to meet your besties for dinner or you have to work on a Sunday, it can be manipulative. It’s like he doesn’t want you to have your own life outside of the relationship. After a while, those sweet words are going to feel stifling.
  10. You find yourself making excuses for him. If you say things about him to others like, “He’s just moody because he’s been working so hard” or “He just battles to express himself” then maybe you’re trying to make excuses for him. But think about why you’re doing it. If you have to lie about him to try to make him seem like a better person, there’s something wrong there. He’s not a good guy.
  11. He doesn’t celebrate your success. If he’s there for you when you’re having a bad time but he can’t pop the champagne when you receive amazing news, sorry but he’s not a decent guy and he’s certainly not a good boyfriend. He might become quiet or fall off the radar because he’s actually jealous of what you’ve achieved. You don’t need that poison in your life. You deserve a supportive partner so don’t settle for less.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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