Even (and especially) the best of us are going to encounter people who think that we owe them our time, energy, or affection. The truth, though, is that it’s a privilege and not a right to be able to share someone’s life with them. If you’re letting toxic people into your life for any reason, this is why you should save their space for someone who really deserves it:
- You might be an open book, but your personal life doesn’t need to be a revolving door. Don’t get me wrong here: there’s nothing wrong with sharing, and anyone telling you that you’re an over-sharer probably doesn’t know the meaning of the word “candor.” But just because you have an easy comfort with anyone you come into contact with doesn’t mean that they’re allowed to barge into your life and stake claims because they think they get you.
- Your worth is far more than you can probably imagine. Surround yourself with people who know your worth and can remind you when you’re not feeling your best. It’s okay to feel “less-than” sometimes, but it’s the important people in your life that are going to build you up and not help you tear yourself down.
- You don’t always get the same out of something that you put into it. Anybody who’s going to tell you that you get back what you put into a relationship has obviously never been in a relationship. As we’ve all probably experienced, not all relationships are created equal, and not all people are of the shiny, happy ilk. There are those out there who will take advantage of you, and if you notice it just once, run. Run fast and far, and don’t look back.
- You’re a great investment, but that doesn’t mean you’re easy money. It’s going to take work to earn you. Don’t let anyone in the gate who thinks they’re first in line at a trendy IPO, waiting to capitalize on their stock and selling it when the iron is hot. You don’t need that kind of fair weather commitment.
- Don’t put all of your eggs into one basket. Just because a person shows interest in you and it seems like a good idea in the first few weeks or months, keep an open mind. I’m not saying to avoid commitment, but I am saying keep your options open wider than your eyes. You’d never want to spend your time with someone who might not be worth it.
- Everybody and nobody is entitled to your feelings. Your feelings belong to you. If you’re willing to share them, to put them out there and make yourself vulnerable, you better believe that the person on the receiving end should appreciate it. Never censor yourself and always pay attention to your own intuition. Other people don’t necessarily have to respect your thoughts, but your feelings should definitely be treated like the treasures they are.
- If you feel like pulling back, don’t let anyone tell you that’s wrong. We all have our moments where we need to pull our wings across our chest and just be. Anyone who doesn’t respect that doesn’t deserve a spot in your life. Never let anyone try to evoke a reaction out of you, whether negative or positive. Be in control of your destiny at all times, even if you have to go it alone.
- Know your worth. Then add tax. Call it whatever you like. “Recreational tax,” “empathy tax;” the list goes on and on. If someone refuses to go above and beyond to meet reasonable emotionally fulfilling needs, they have no business being in your life.
- People will learn how to treat you based on how you allow them to treat you. This can cover a lot of bases, whether it be emotional manipulation or allowing someone to think for a second that you’re a pushover. A hard-headed person can be hard to deal with, so you don’t want to be TOO closed off, but be as open as you’re willing to be and give only when you think it’s in your own best interest.
- The second you feel compelled to prove your worth is the second you should walk away. If anybody treats you like you have something to prove in terms of what you have to offer as a person, show. them. the door. Better yet, take the initiative to walk out of it yourself, and while you’re at it, give it a nice slam.
