If you grew up watching Sex and the City, it’s more than likely that it was your unofficial dating Bible. In fact, no one would hold it against you if you admit that you partially moved to New York to channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw (although you’ll never be able to afford her apartment, let alone her shoe closet). After all, everyone related to at least one of the fabulous ladies (even if no one ever wanted to be Miranda). Unfortunately, even though the ladies were great at getting dates, they were less prepared to keep the dudes around. As much as you want to turn to Carrie whenever something goes wrong in your relationship, she’s not exactly the best at dispensing advice — even if she did manage to lock down Mr. Big eventually. Here are the worst advice tidbits the show dispensed over the years.
- “Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself?” Sure, it can feel like you’re competitive with other ladies, but at the end of the day, that’s on you. There’s always going to be someone who appears to be more beautiful, or more talented, or more successful than you, but you never actually know what’s going on inside their brain. Today, there’s even social media stalking to make sure you know exactly which women exist to make you feel rotten (primarily your ex-boyfriend’s new girl). Take a step back and remember that only you can make yourself feel bad.
- “So, when it comes to finance and dating, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why do we keep investing?” We’ve all considered giving up dating forever/joining a nunnery/deleting Tinder after encountering a particularly horrible heartbreak or when you’re recovering from an awful first date. But no one ever actually gives it up for long, because the alternative is even worse. Plus, if you don’t date around you can never fulfill your goal of becoming Samantha.
- “Okay, we were attracted to younger men for various reasons. But I couldn’t help but wonder: What do they see in us?” Again, everyone has their everyday insecurities… but if you’re always insecure about everything, that’s going to make dating ridiculously difficult. Dating is already hard enough when you’re left wondering when he’ll text or if he’ll decide to ghost. Questioning yourself will only make it 100% worse.
- “Is there a secret cold war between married and singles?” If you’ve ever had a newly married pal attempt to set you up with literally anyone who is even remotely your age and has a pulse, you’ve questioned the divide. Despite the stress a newly hitched best friend brings, there’s no war at all, not even a cold one.
- “I did find it interesting that a discussion about politics ultimately became a discussion about sex. And a discussion about sex ultimately became a question of politics. Which led me to wonder if the two weren’t in fact inextricably linked, and if so, can there be sex without politics?” Despite the fact that there are always political sex scandals, sex and politics definitely don’t have to be talked about together. After all, didn’t everyone take American Government in high school? There was absolutely nothing sexy about memorizing the branches of government.
- “While I always ascribed thoughts of karma to the fortune-cookie school psychology, I wondered: Does a string of bad dates really equal one good one?” Anyone who has ever dated multiple men they met on Tinder knows that dating karma doesn’t exist. If it did, everyone who tried (and failed) at app dating would be happily in love by now, planning their Pinterest perfect wedding.
- “I couldn’t help but wonder what it meant that I wanted to talk to my ex-boyfriend again?” Everyone who has ever started “talking” to their ex knows that it only means one thing: bad news bears. As much as you want to believe that he’s changed, or that you’ve changed, and that you’re going to be together forever now, you’re wrong. It’s science. Plus, we’ve all wanted to talk to our ex-boyfriend — whether it’s because of eternal hope, or because you have a series of unanswered questions for him that keep you up all night. Also, Carrie could help it — she just doesn’t.
- “Do we need distance to get close?” Anyone who has ever been in a long distance relationship knows that the struggle is real. While distance can make you miss your partner more, it’s certainly not necessary when you’re starting a relationship. Think about when you meet a dude and one of you goes on vacation — by the time you’re both in town, he’s not exactly on your mind anymore.
- “When it comes to matters of the heart, did we have it right in high school?” If you know someone who has managed to stay with their high school sweetheart, you’ve probably considered what would happen if you were still seeing yours. I’m pretty sure I didn’t know anything about matters of the heart in high school, because my prom date liked musicals and glitter far more than me.
- “Are all men freaks?” This is where Carrie gets it right. If she was bopping around NYC today with her squad, and had to go on Grindr with Stanford and Tinder with Samantha, she would know for sure that all men are super freaky… no matter how much they hide it.
