In order to play the dating game, you have to know the rules. Many of them pertain to texting, and breaking them can have some disastrous consequences.
- Don’t double text (or triple text). It’s one thing to send a couple of texts all at once; it’s another to send several follow-up texts when he hasn’t replied to the first within a few minutes. If you’re always questioning where he is, what he’s doing, and who he’s with, how are you ever going to build trust in the relationship? You’re not his keeper and you don’t need to check in every five minutes. Just remember that a little space goes a long way.
- Use proper grammar. Bad spelling and improper grammar are actually one of the biggest turn-offs in modern dating. You can still use your texting shorthand, but too much of it makes you look like you’re still in middle school. It’s time to grow up and at this point in life, you should be pretty damn familiar with Basic English. A mistake here or there (despite autocorrect) is no big deal, but if your messages are barely readable, don’t be surprised when the relationship heads straight to nowhere.
- Limit your use of emojis. Honestly, it makes you look dumb. Use your emojis to display your emotion, not to replace words with pictures. The guy your texting isn’t in first grade and he doesn’t need a picture book to give him a hint. If you want him to take you seriously and have an adult relationship, then start acting like an adult even in texting.
- Don’t use texting as your primary form of communication. You need to learn how to communicate with your partner in person. Texting can make you feel brave because you don’t have to look someone in the eye when you say something, but that’s the coward’s way out. When it comes to expressing serious thoughts and feelings, stick to face to face.
- Stand up for yourself. If a guy is making you feel like crap because he texts you hot and cold, don’t just brush it off. Guys created a stigma that a girl who expects a reply within a reasonable amount of time is crazy. You’re not being needy, you’re just demanding respect. Don’t let any guy tell you otherwise. Just remember a guy who really likes you, won’t leave your text messages hanging.
- Don’t worry so much. You have to know the rules to play the game but if you’re not having fun, it’s just not worth it. The point of the game is to find love and you’ll never find it if you spend all your time obsessing over which move to make next. Let your texting relationship come naturally because if you have to agonize every time you send a text, the relationship will only ever feel like stop and go forced misery.
- Give him a little time after you leave him. In other words, don’t text him the second you part ways. Unless you accidentally left something at his house, give him a break before you pounce back on your prey. The best couples know that every relationship can benefit from a little space. Stop, lighten up and stop taking your love life so seriously. After all, falling in love is supposed to be fun.
- Never fight over text. In any relationship, you’re always going to have your disagreements, but the best way to deal with those speed bumps is by having an in-person conversation. Texting hides tone and more often than not will escalate a fight rather than resolving it. If you really want to work through your issues, save the fights for when you’re together and you can both have the best opportunity to convey your feelings.
- Save the big stuff for in person. When you have a good story to tell, don’t waste it over a text message. Guys aren’t big on having huge conversations through text. If you’re texting him everything that happens to you, you’ll have nothing to talk about when you’re together. You don’t want your relationship milestones to happen when you can’t even see his face. The first time you say “I love you,” when you decide to move in together—those are the kinds of things that should always happen when you’re in the same room.
- Don’t text the ex. You need to close the door on that relationship for good. Stop making a virtual relationship an exception. He needs to be out of your life and out of your phone. Don’t let texting be your weakness. Block his number and then delete his sorry ass, because you deserve more than a text message apology. If you really want to get over him, then this is one texting rule you should never break.
