Reminder: You Don’t Need A Man To Be Happy

Reminder: You Don’t Need A Man To Be Happy iStock

You’re a baddie who takes no sh*t, but for some reason, you find yourself willing to accept less than you deserve from guys sometimes because you really want a boyfriend. In your mind, as awesome as your life is now, a guy would make it so much better. And while a partner can definitely be the cherry on top of a sweet-ass existence, you don’t need a man to be happy. Wanting a guy is fine, but needing one means you need to work on your own happiness first.

  1. You’ve got plenty of others in your life. You’re not alone just because you’re single. Take a minute and step back from your man search. You have friends, family, co-workers and more. You have plenty of people to talk to, do things with, and be happy around. You’re still loved and complete even if you’re single.
  2. There’s nothing you can’t do without one. You can reach higher shelves, you can go out to dinner, you can support yourself. Hell, you can even please yourself. There really isn’t anything in your life that requires a man. It’s all about finding that man who you want to be around. It’s not about absolutely needing him to do everything for you.
  3. You can choose any career you want. Forget needing to date a rich guy to keep you up. You have the power to choose any career you want. You don’t need a man to be the breadwinner. We don’t live in the 1800s anymore. You can have any job you want as long as you work for it.
  4. A relationship doesn’t equal happiness. Being in a relationship isn’t going to necessarily make you happy. Would having a man in your life be great if he’s always cheating on you? No. Just jumping in relationships to try to have the fairytale isn’t going to work. Be happy for now and wait for the right man. You’ll be much happier that way.
  5. There’s a whole world to explore. Introduce a new man to your life and suddenly you’re restricted by what he wants to do. You’re single. Enjoy it. There’s a whole world out there to experience. Travel, try new things with your friends, explore new hobbies or go around the country volunteering. See? You didn’t need a man for any of that.
  6. You can pay your own way. Sure, it’s nice to date a super-rich guy who buys you things you haven’t even thought to ask for. But that gets old. It’s more satisfying to pay your own way. You never have to ask for what you want. It’s your money and your choice as to what to do with it. You’re not just happy, but independent too.
  7. You can do whatever you want. You really want to try that new restaurant, but your man said no. You’re crushed. If you were single, you could go whenever you wanted. You can seriously do whatever you want. Haven’t you ever noticed how happy some single women are? They don’t base their happiness on a man. They do what makes them happy and if a man is a part of their life great. If not, great.
  8. It’s up to YOU to make you happy. You can’t rely upon anyone else to make you happy. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Besides, it’s time to take responsibility for yourself. If you’re not happy with you, you’ll never be happy with a man. Take some time to focus on figuring out what makes you happy. A man can only add to your happiness. He can’t be the entire basis for your happiness.
  9. Less drama is better for everyone. I don’t care how happy you might be in a relationship, there will be drama and stress. It’s not going to be love and happiness and rainbows and kittens all the time. See, a man isn’t going to always make you happy. Sometimes, all the added drama just makes you feel like crap. Wouldn’t less drama make you happier?
  10. No stress to look good all the time. You could stress out about how you look and let a man judge you for what you wear or what you look like without makeup. Or, you could say screw it and realize how happy you are wearing whatever the hell you want. Without a man, you could spend a week in the same clothes without a shower if you want. I don’t recommend that, but you get what I mean. You get to dress for yourself, not someone else.
  11. Life’s about more than just finding a man. Life is this great journey and it’s not about finding a man. Some of us will find a man along the way and it’ll add to our happiness. Others will stay single and other things will make them just as happy. You can be happy with or without a man. It honestly doesn’t matter. As long as you’re being true to you, you’ll end up happy.

I know some of you will hate this. Many of you will agree. You honestly don’t need a man to be happy. Be happy as yourself and that’s all that matters in life.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.
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