Chasing after a guy who doesn’t want you is obviously a bad idea, but that doesn’t mean you should sit back and wait for him to come to you all the time. Sometimes being the pursuer can be a nice change of pace and a guy who’s into you won’t mind being the pursued every once in a while — he might even like it.
- Everyone likes to feel wanted. You know those butterflies in your stomach when a guy you like shows interest in you? Guys get that too. It’s a nice feeling to realize someone likes you enough to put themselves out there, and that goes double for guys because they don’t come across girls who make the first move as often.
- It’s good for his ego. Not that you should be doing things just to stroke a guy’s ego, but certain guys deserve all the appreciation and attention you can give them. Positive reinforcement for guys who treat women right will only make the world a better place, so why not go after a nice guy for a change and show him that he definitely doesn’t always finish last?
- He’ll appreciate the break. Imagine how exhausting it must be to always have the charm turned up to max to get a date, and then having to keep the enthusiasm level high during and after that date to make sure your date stays interested. Cut him some slack and take a little of the responsibility off his shoulders — there’s no way he won’t take notice.
- He won’t have to guess whether you’re into him. Asking someone out is nerve-wracking, especially when you have no idea if they’re going to laugh in your face or not. If you remove all doubt that you’re into him by making the first move, chances are good that he’ll return the favor and ask you out the next time because he’s a little more confident about his chances.
- He won’t worry he’s being ‘creepy’. We all tend to use the word ‘creepy’ loosely these days. Guys who did nothing but innocently ask a girl on a date are accused of being creepy just because she wasn’t interested in him, even though he most likely wasn’t able to read her mind. Let’s all agree to reserve the word creepy for guys who use Marilyn Manson lyrics as pick up lines, because most guys don’t deserve that label.
- You’ll get to pursue the guys you’re actually interested in. According to data gathered by OKCupid, women who send the first message have a lot more luck with online dating than ones that wait for guys to message them every time. That’s because guys get a lot fewer first messages, so they’re a lot more likely to respond and pursue the girls who show real interest rather than the ones who just sit back and cherry pick the guys they like from the hundreds of messages they get.
- He’s avoiding girls who are in it for the wrong reasons. If a guy is hesitant to make the first move, it’s not always because he’s not interested in a girl. It could be because he doesn’t want her to go on a pity date with him or settle for him because she has nothing better to do on a Friday night. Guys don’t want to be in a ‘good enough’ relationship any more than girls do.
- There are exceptions to every rule. There are people that are stuck on the idea that you should always let the guy make the first move because biology made men the pursuer and women the pursued. But human beings are a little more complicated than that thanks to our unique personalities, not to mention free will. Not every guy wants to chase, and not every girl wants to be chased. Do what feels right to you and you’ll end up right where you’re supposed to be regardless of rules.
- Guys like a girl who will take a chance. Guys know better than anyone that putting yourself out there and asking someone else is a risk. So if he sees you’re willing to put yourself in a potentially awkward position for the chance to go out with him, he’ll know you think he’s worth that risk, and who wouldn’t be at least a little flattered by that?
