So you meet the most amazing person ever and they’re everything you’re looking for — hot, funny, the whole nine yards. That’s great and all, but none of it matters if the sex is awkward and leaves you no way near getting yours. Sure, sex isn’t everything, but if it’s bad, the relationship is never going to work.
- Some people just never learn. When it comes to having sex with a new partner, the general wisdom is that it takes time to get it right. You need to explore one another, get to know what makes each other tick, communicate about your needs and blah blah blah. I call that BS. With some people, no matter how hard you try, they’ll never be able to get it quite right. You urge them to be softer and treat your vagina with the respect she deserves, yet as soon as you show the smallest sign of pleasure, your partner gets overexcited again. He doesn’t listen, he won’t change, and it won’t get any better.
- You don’t get those cuddly chemicals. People talk about “mind-blowing sex” and there’s some truth to that. Basically, your brain goes crazy when you’re getting it on. Different chemicals are released when you climax, including the so-called “cuddle hormone” oxytocin, which is the one that gives you all those lovey-dovey feelings for the person you’re boning. If they can’t get you off, then you won’t have that extra bond with them.
- You need to let off some steam. There’s nothing better than a good session when you’re feeling stressed. You want to have some fun and get out some frustration. You don’t want to be the girl that’s unfulfilled and disappointed, walking around with a cloud hanging over her head. If the sex is bad, you can’t get that release you so desperately need sometimes, but unless you’re in a relationship, seeking it elsewhere is a no-go. What’s the point?
- You start to resent your S.O. Your partner starts slobbering over you and giving you the come hither eyes, but you can’t think of anything worse than having their limp, sweaty body grinding on top of you, while they’re making grunts that are about as sexy as the sound of your alarm going off in the morning. If you’re really not feeling it, you just start to find them repulsive.
- Sex is so important. We like to go around saying things like, “The thing I love most about my partner is their amazing sense of humor.” But let’s be honest — what good is their witty banter when you’re horny AF? As much as we’d like to think that there are more important elements that make up a good relationship, such as companionship with the person you’re dating or shared ambitions, sex is super important and there’s no sense in denying it.
- You might as well just be friends. A good BFF can give you the emotional support you need. You can go out to dinner together or have a cozy night in watching Netflix. The only difference between your BFF and your partner is that your partner is someone who regularly gets to see you naked. If that’s not the case, then forget it. You don’t need anyone else in your squad — what you need is a good bang.
- How much worse is it going to get? If the sex is bad now, how much worse is it going to get when you get to the serious couple stage? In your 20s and 30s you shouldn’t have a sex life which resembles that of an old married couple. You’re in your sexual prime, and you should be having a great time getting yours.
