If you put up emotional walls and don’t put any effort into dating, it’ll definitely be more difficult for you to meet someone you want to be in a relationship with. However, sometimes it feels like you’re doing everything you can to “put yourself out there” and you’re still single. What’s up with that?
- You fall head over heels for everyone you have a spark with. You’re putting yourself out there alright, but you’re also obsessing over anyone that you kind of click with and give your all to people who might not be worth it. You could be missing out on the right person because you’re too busy imagining your future with the wrong one. That’s not to say you shouldn’t have an interest in people you have had a few good dates with, but don’t treat them like you’re in an exclusive relationship until you know them well enough to be sure that you want to be.
- On the flip side, you’re playing the field way too much. There’s nothing wrong with playing the field while single and casually dating more than one person at a time as long as everyone’s on the same page. One reason you might still be single is that you’re putting yourself out there too much. You don’t give a relationship a chance because you’re going out on too many dates with different people to really connect with anyone.
- You’re still hung up on your ex. This doesn’t have to mean that you still have feelings for them, but it’s possible that even though you’ve moved on, you still haven’t had enough time to truly process and heal from that relationship. Sometimes it seems like the best way to get over your ex completely is to jump into a new relationship, but that’s usually just a temporary band-aid to mask the pain you’re feeling. You’ll realize that dating new people might distract you for a little while, but it’ll be unlikely that you’ll be happy with a new partner until you’ve dealt with the hurt from your last breakup.
- You have crazy high, unachievable standards. It’s not a bad thing to have high standards and to refuse to settle for people who aren’t worth your time and energy. That being said, no one is perfect, so make sure you’re standards don’t border on unrealistic. You might find that the right person for you is someone you never imagined yourself with, so give people a chance (within reason), even if they don’t check every single one of your boxes.
- You’re too shallow. There’s nothing wrong with having certain preferences on physical qualities for a potential partner. We’re all attracted to different things. However, you may need to rethink your priorities if the way someone physically looks is what you care about the most when it comes to meeting someone new. For example, if you meet someone who’s hilarious, respectful, and that you click with well, but you decide not to date them because they don’t fit your typical physical preference, that’s not high standards. In reality, you’re being shallow.
- Your main priority in life is falling in love. It’s totally fine if you’re looking f0r a relationship, but it shouldn’t be your entire life. Not only is that unattractive but it will also make you act obsessive and desperate. Wanting to fall in love can be a priority for you, but it definitely shouldn’t be your only (or main) one. Your career, friendships, family, and hobbies shouldn’t be neglected while you’re trying to meet “The One.”
- You want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons. You’re looking for a relationship to fill a void that you really need to fill yourself. For example, you’re scared of being alone or maybe you’re looking for someone to depend on emotionally. You may not realize your self-worth on your own and are looking for a significant other to validate you. Whatever the reason you want to be in a relationship with someone is, it’s not a healthy one to build something real on. You aren’t being genuine to yourself or to any potential partners.
- You’re straightforward, confident, and know your worth. If you’re a transparent, confident person who knows that you are a great catch, you’ll scare off people who are intimidated or jealous of your personality. It can be frustrating, but it’s actually a good thing in the long run because you’re not wasting your time and energy with people who aren’t worth it.
