If you think you’ve found “the one” but still aren’t sure, here are ten questions to ask yourself. While love is still a mystery to even the wisest people, there are certain key ingredients that are non-negotiable when choosing a life-long partner. If you want to know if he’s the one, quiz yourself with these questions to finally know the answer once and for all.
- Does he challenge you in positive ways? You want to be with a person who inspires you to push yourself, to try new things, and to be the best version of yourself. Someone who makes you a little too comfortable will become dull and stifling after awhile. Someone who challenges you mentally and loves to see you grow is the person you can spend forever with.
- Do you prioritize each other? Does he make time for you when you need it? Do you make time for him? Do you know, deep down, that you are the most important thing in his life? You need someone who puts your relationship at the top of their list of priorities. In addition, you need to feel that the relationship is at the top of your priority list as well. It’s a two-way street, and you shouldn’t need a quiz to know that.
- Does he show his commitment? Someone who has a beautiful way with words makes an intoxicating partner for the short-term, but lack of follow-through gets old very quickly. Does he show his commitment in meaningful ways? Does he spend time with you even when you’re in a bad mood? Does he listen when you need to get something off your chest? Is he willing to compromise on things you both care about? If he doesn’t back up his words with his actions, he is not the man for you.
- Does he share your values? If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, they need to have a similar worldview. While it is possible to lead a blissfully happy life with someone from a completely different religious or cultural or political background, you need to agree on the fundamentals. If your values don’t align, your relationship is not sustainable.
- Do you work through your problems together? When you disagree on something, how do you get beyond it? Do you shut each other out until you’ve forgotten what you argued about in the first place? Do you wait until he apologizes no matter who’s at fault? Neither of those options is a healthy way of dealing with your differences. To work through your problems, you need to listen to each other and come to a place of understanding. If you can’t do this, you will not be happy together.
- Do you share similar goals for the future? If you’re looking for “the one,” you need to look for someone who has similar goals for their future. Whether it’s wanting or not wanting kids, living in a city or living somewhere rural, wanting adventure or wanting consistency, you need to see eye-to-eye on where you’re headed. You can still love someone who has different goals, but the relationship cannot be long-term unless one of you changes. This is likely the most important question in this quiz.
- Is there mutual respect? You cannot have a happy relationship without mutual respect. Respecting each other’s boundaries, careers, aspirations, and emotional needs are all fundamental to maintaining a satisfying relationship. If you don’t have respect on both sides, your partnership is destined to fail, no matter how much you love each other.
- Have you known him for six months or more? You may think you’ve found the love of your life, but unless you’ve known that person for a minimum of six months, science says that you are incapable of knowing for sure. After approximately 172 days, you’re in a position to know whether the person you’re with is a good fit. You may have fallen in love at first sight, but only time will tell if that love is well-placed.
- Do the people you trust like him? Don’t make the mistake of ignoring your circle of friends and family in favor of your own infatuation-clouded judgment. They will have higher standards for your partner than you will, and they will be more clear-eyed in their estimation of him. If he passes the friends and family test, he’s a winner.
- Does he make you feel like yourself? You can fall hard for someone who makes you feel like you’re living a fantasy version of your life, but eventually, you’ll just want to feel normal. If you feel like you have to change yourself to make him love you or that you can never fully relax around him, you will not be able to lead a happy life together. “The one” will make you feel more like yourself than you’ve ever felt.
- Is he the one? If you’ve answered “yes” to all of the questions in this quiz, the man you’re with may be “the one.” If you’ve answered “no” to any of the questions, it is almost impossible that he could be the person for you. Without the above ten things, your relationship cannot be successful in the long run without major changes.
Ultimately, you probably know in your heart whether or not he’s the one without this quiz. However, hopefully having time to reflect on these important questions shed even more clarity.
