An Open Letter To The Man Who Loves Me Next

I know you haven’t met me yet, but I wish I could give you this letter to let you know what to expect. I’ve already had my heart broken by the wrong men, and I don’t want it to happen again. I know we’ll meet soon and fall in love. If only I could prepare you so things would be easier, I’m sure we’d both be happier. I’m excited to work through our ups and downs — I just hope you feel the same way.

1. I’m guarded at first, so give me time. I don’t trust easily, but I’ll get there if you just have patience. I have to test the waters and make sure you’re worthy of my trust. It’s nothing against you, so just please be patient.
2. I take things slow, so don’t give up. I’m not one to have sex on the first date. I can’t tell you when it’ll happen, but we’ll get there. I’m also not interested in getting married quickly. I’ll bolt if you move too fast. Stick with me, though — after all, slow and steady wins the race (or something like that).
3. I’ll be faithful, but I expect nothing less in return. You’ll never have to worry about me cheating. When I commit, it’s with my whole heart. I’ll never stray. Just remember, I expect the same type of commitment from you.
4. If you cheat, it’s over — no second chances. I’ve been cheated on before and I don’t want to go through that again. If you cheat, even if it’s just one kiss, our relationship is over. I don’t give second chances, no matter what excuse you give.
5. I’m not perfect and I will make mistakes. I have my flaws and I’m sure I’ll do things to annoy you or piss you off. Neither of us are perfect, but I’m willing to apologize when I screw up and I hope you are, too.
6. We’ll fight, but we’ll work things out. I’m not exactly a quiet woman. If you piss me off, I’ll let you know. Yes, that means we’ll fight sometimes, but if you give me a few hours to cool off, we’ll talk things out and figure out how to fix what’s wrong.
7. I’m ready to compromise… to a point. I know relationships require compromise, but I won’t compromise on everything. Ask me to sleep on the left side of the bed and I might agree. Ask me to give up my career and we’ll have a problem.
8. I’m not always the easiest to love. It takes patience, a good sense of humor, and forgiveness to love me. I won’t always make it easy. Sometimes you’ll wonder why you’re with me. I’ll do my best to give you plenty of reasons and memories to always give you an answer to that question.
9. I often get carried away with my career. I never mean to put you second, I’ve just always gotten easily carried away with my career. Even when I was in school, I had a single-minded focus on doing my best. Just get my attention and remind me what’s most important.
10. I won’t be around 24/7. I love you, but I don’t want to be around you 24/7. I need time to myself to do things you might not enjoy. It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy your company. I just need some alone time now and then.
11. I’m sarcastic, so don’t take it personally. I’ve mastered the fine art of sarcasm. Please don’t take it personally. If it’s ever too much, just let me know and I’ll try to ease up. Did I mention you’ll need a good sense of humor to be with me?
12. I’ll give you my best, but you’ll also see my worst. I promise to always try and give you my best, but it won’t always work that way. You’ll see me vomiting with the flu or bitching over everything when PMS gets the best of me. Just try to love both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
13. I’m not going to like everything you like. I know you want me to love all your interests, but I won’t. I’ll like some of them and I’ll happily do those with you. The rest you’ll have to do on your own or with your friends. I already have my own interests and I’m sure you’ll dislike some of those too.
14. I’m devoted to my friends and family. My friends and family loved me before I even knew you. Don’t ask me to give them up. They’re important to me and I won’t stay if you ask me choose.
15. All I want is your love, respect and honesty. I know it sounds like a tall order, but in the end, I just want real love, your full respect and of course, honesty. If any of these are missing, we don’t have a chance at a lasting relationship.
16. If you can’t meet the above, please don’t lead me on. I’d rather you tell me now that you can’t be the man I need you to be. Don’t lead me on. It’ll hurt more the longer you draw it out.

I hope this helps you understand me and what I need. I look forward to falling in love with you.