Now Isn’t the Right Time to Start a Diet, So Calm Down & Eat That Donut!

Now Isn’t the Right Time to Start a Diet, So Calm Down & Eat That Donut! ©iStock/max-kegfire

So your scale, your clothes, and your overly critical mother are all telling you that you’ve gained a few pounds. You get it, you’re not as svelte as you were a year ago. But you’re just not that into a diet right now, and you wish everyone would just leave you alone. You’ve got other things going for you, you’re generally healthy, and you’ll get to it when you get to it.

Well, there are enough pressures out there to put down your fork and go to the gym. We’re here to tell you that it’s OK to pick it back up again and enjoy. Vive l’indulgence!

  1. You just paid way too much money for that bridesmaid’s dress. You know, the gorgeous green, orange, and brown one that your sorority sister bride swears looks great on you and totally matches her fall wedding theme. It’s already hanging in your closet and there’s no way you’re going to spend even a penny on alterations.
  2. Winter is coming and you hear baggy tunics are still in. Jon Snow was right. Winter is coming. And the best part of it (aside from your favorite Game of Thrones guys coming back on screen for a new season after it’s over) is how forgiving this season’s styles are. Nobody’s going to notice that you lost 10 pounds under that tunic anyway, so why not eat a cookie and be happy about it?
  3. You just don’t have time to cook right now. By the time you walk back from the subway, make it up the three flights of stairs to your walkup, and kick off your new flats that look great but are killing your feet, you’re too exhausted to do anything but pop in a Trader Joe’s Mandarin Orange Chicken. Calories be damned.
  4. You just bought into the donut club at work. I mean, it was your boss’s idea. What were you supposed to say?
  5. Bobby over at your favorite food truck would just be so worried about you if you stopped coming! He always asks you how you’re doing. And he sounds like he really means it, you know? You wouldn’t want him to think you just fell off the face of the planet!
  6. You’re so overwhelmed by information that you just can’t decide which diet is right for you. Atkins? Paleo? South Beach? Wait, are you picking a diet or a travel destination?
  7. You’ve got the blues. It’s not a long term thing, but you’re in a bit of a low patch. It’s not so low that you’re worried about it but just low enough that getting out will be hard to do without Ben and Jerry’s.
  8. Because you’re just plain hungry. And dammit, shouldn’t it really be that simple?
  9. Because a Starbucks Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino with whipped creme is just. so. good. Like, so good that it’s inspiring. You practically need it just to get your creative juices flowing at work each morning. And don’t you dare even suggest ordering the light version. I will cut you.
  10. Melissa McCarthy is coming out with a new clothing line for bigger women and you hear it’s going to be aweeeeesomeeeee. In fact, forget about a diet. You’re actually too small for her clothes at the moment, so maybe you need to gain weight. Bring on the ice cream!
Jessica Levy is a freelance blogger and content writer. She’s also a politics junkie, a fledgling foodie, and a frequent traveler. She has lived in Morocco, Israel, India, and Barbados, and never wants to be cold again. Follow her on Twitter!
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