Not Wanting To Hook Up Doesn’t Make You A Prude

With the popularity of apps like Tinder and the fact that most are people choosing to wait until they’re older to settle down these days, it’s official: we’re smack dab in the middle of hook up culture. It’s tough being single and navigating the dating world, especially if casual sex is something you’re trying to avoid. While there’s nothing wrong with loving no strings attached hookups, it’s definitely not for everyone, and that’s okay. Even if it seems like you’re a prude if you aren’t as comfortable with casual sex as everyone else, that isn’t necessarily the case. Some people just need to have feelings for someone before getting naked. Might as well embrace it.

  1. You’re not afraid to be yourself. Even when everyone else is content to do the casual sex thing, you’re just as fine with admitting you’d rather not have sex at all than have sex with just anyone. You know what you want, and that’s more than a lot of people can say.
  2. You’re not following the crowd. Hooking up may be trendy right now, but that doesn’t mean you have to follow that trend. Just hearing your friends’ stories is enough to satisfy you curiosity, and confirm that casual sex is one bandwagon you have no interest in jumping on.
  3. You never regret sleeping with someone. All your friends who wake up the next morning next to someone they never would have dreamed of sleeping with before joining the hookup movement are going to be envious of your clear conscience.
  4. You won’t be pressured. This doesn’t mean guys won’t try to convince you, but you’ll be a lot less likely to give in if you’re comfortable in your decision to stay in the no hookup zone.
  5. When you do have sex, it means something. If you get to know someone before you have sex with them, chances are you have some kind of feelings for them. You’ll feel a lot better knowing he at least cares about you a little bit, even if it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in a serious relationship. At least the potential is there.
  6. You’ll have a lot less terrible sex. The fact that you aren’t comfortable sleeping with guys you don’t know very well probably doesn’t make casual sex very appealing. Even if you’ve tried it, it probably wasn’t the mind-blowing, uninhibited, no-strings-attached sex you imagined it to be. Some say any sex is better than no sex at all, but for most women, that isn’t even close to being the case.
  7. You won’t get attached to guys that don’t care about you. Guys are a lot better at separating sex and feelings than girls are. We’re definitely capable of it in the right circumstances, but if you’re having amazing regular sex with someone, chances are you’re going to start to get attached. And chances are he won’t return your feelings.
  8. You can take care of yourself. Just because you aren’t having sex doesn’t mean you aren’t satisfied. You’ve probably figured out how to get yourself off on your own, which means you’ll know exactly what you like the next time you’re with a guy.
  9. The right guy will be willing to wait. You don’t want the type of guy who sleeps with a new girl every weekend. You want one who wants to get to know people, and doesn’t categorize every girl based on what she’s like in bed. Once you find that guy, you’ll be able to move slowly together and have sex when you’re both ready.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.
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