I used to get so wrapped up in trying to be the perfect girlfriend and feeling anxious about what the future held that I’d forget to have fun and create new experiences in dating. Thankfully, I’ve learned how to step back and enjoy things more. Now, I create a bucket list for my relationships that allows me to get the most out of my relationships and it makes things way less stressful and much more fun. Here’s what’s on it:
- Get the ex talk out of the way from the get-go I’m not saying I’m going to ask about his last relationship on the first date, but once things start to reach a routine with my guy, I feel that stuff should be talked about sooner rather than later. Once we know we’re on the same page, we can move forward in our own relationship without worrying about what we’re still hanging onto from the old ones. It definitely relieves some of that pressure.
- Get used to saying yes and trying new things Dating can feel risky on its own, so why not try to step a little further out of my comfort zone? I figure this is a good opportunity to utilize the phrase “go big or go home.” I like testing my abilities and finding out what I’m made of and that sort of trickles into a new relationship as well. I don’t want to hold myself back because I’m afraid—that’s gotten me nowhere in the past. I want to be able to tackle things head on, whether they’re challenging experiences or real life issues that come with being with someone new.
- Make dinner together I love cooking and I figure this is a really fun task to take on with someone I’m dating. It gives us a chance to bond over food and work together to make something delicious. We can learn what each other likes in a more in-depth way and there’s the awesome reward of eating the results of our efforts.
- Do something that scares us to death Now, I’m not saying resort to breaking and entering or vandalizing a building by any means, but there are ways to test your guts and make a memory. Maybe we sneak into a park after hours and have a picnic or, if I’m feeling really ballsy, I wouldn’t be above jumping out of an airplane. Adrenaline creates a bond that only those that experience it together can share.
- Visit each other’s childhood neighborhoods I love nostalgia and I love sharing silly stories from my past and I like to hear the same from the guy I date. I want to know how he got that scrape on his knee or why he’s afraid of the deep end of the public swimming pool Sometimes those tales can’t come out without some visual stimulation, and visiting old stomping grounds really brings those memories to life.
- Take a trip together Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a friend’s out of town wedding, if the option comes up, I want us to go for it. This is especially a must if I feel the relationship is actually heading somewhere long-term. Traveling can bring out the best or the worst in a person and a couple, so I use it as a gauge to see what our relationship can take. If we’re going to last, we need to be able to travel together.
- Pull an all-nighter One of my favorite relationship memories I’ve made have been the nights where we don’t run out of a single thing to talk about and before we know it, the sun is coming up. Once the conversation starts and I can tell it’s going to be good, the last thing I want to do is cut it off because I’m sleepy. When a night like that presents itself, I go with it. You learn fun details about each other and when the tiredness really sets in, sometimes the weird comes out. I want to see a guy’s weird side and I need to know he can put up with mine!
- Binge watch each other’s favorite shows together I’m a huge television buff, so one of the keys to knowing if a guy is good for me is to get him to watch the shows I’ll be quoting during random conversations. Assuming he may have some of his own to share, I really feel like I want to be a part of those. If he really cares about The Sopranos, I want to really care about The Sopranos—or at least entertain the idea.
- Make a playlist of all of “our” songs I’m a sucker for romance and music, so if I can combine the two, I find it to be a win-win situation. I love the idea of making a combined playlist of music that reminds us of each other. It doesn’t even all have to be romantic—I’ve been known to include the song playing in the restaurant on a first date or something we made an inside joke about. Music is a really powerful thing for me and so I love to incorporate it into a relationship.
- Have a classic date evening out on the town I like to occasionally take date night up a notch. Dinner and dancing are fantastic alone but when you up the romance factor, it can make it a whole different experience. I start by saving some money to be able to do it up right. Then the goal is to get dressed to the nines, make reservations at a really swanky place, and go all out on the cheesy factor. What’s not to love?
