Love Is Great But Not Having To Deal With Heartbreak Is Even Better

Call me cynical and jaded, but I’m just speaking honestly. I’ve been in a lot of relationships over the years, some short, some long. No matter what, it always comes back to the same problem for me – the good is never more substantial than the bad:

1. Dating is complicated. Being single is much easier. I only have to worry about one person. I can do what I want. I can go out and help many people instead of worrying about the needs of a single partner. Because it’s so complicated, it’s not always a happy experience. I would like to pull more joy from it than I do, but obviously I haven’t been in a good enough relationship.
2. Men usually end up disappointing me. It’s unfortunate but true. It’s a combination of me having an unrealistic idea of them and them trying in the beginning but soon becoming lazy. I want my relationships to be amazing – not necessarily always blissful – but at least mature and communicative and beautifully loving. I’ve never had that, and I’m always more let down than anything.
3. I’m tired of games that leave me heartbroken. I don’t like playing games. Men assure me they don’t either, but they’re full of it. I’m so sick of getting excited about someone only to have him leave me in the lurch feeling like an idiot. The heartache over feeling unimportant to yet another man who I thought valued my time is so much worse than it’s worth.
4. Love is fun but it’s a huge risk. I know there’s risk involved. That’s why I don’t get in too deep unless I really like someone. Then, when I finally do and he leaves me anyway, I’m horribly sad. I’m beginning to honestly believe that all men are completely full of crap and none of them are willing to do what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship.
5. The statistics are always against me. First of all, I want something very specific and it’s simply difficult to find. Secondly, every relationship that isn’t the one that lasts is going to end unhappily. That’s just the truth of things. I’m always so hopeful that I’ve finally found the right one and I’m always wrong. I would legitimately rather be single. It hurts much less.
6. I think I’ve chosen wisely and I’m always mistaken. I don’t know what it is about me. Men are so excited to have found me in the beginning. They tell me how unique and down-to-earth and wonderful I am. They tell me I’m perfect for them. They act like they’ll stick around for the long haul. Then we have one little bump in the road and they can’t handle it. It’s depressing.
7. I don’t fall often but I fall hard. I’m a very emotional person. I care and love deeply. I wouldn’t change who I am, but at the same time, it causes me a great deal of pain sometimes. I don’t give my heart away easily but once I do I open myself up to a world of heartache. I’m so tired of feeling sad over men that leave me. It’s not worth the brief joy they bring.
8. I’m cautious and then when I finally go all in, guys run away scared. I’m so over it. I wait and wait until I think okay, yeah, this is finally the guy I can trust to treat me well. I let myself be comfortable around him. Then I call him out on some bullcrap he tries to pull and he takes off. Seriously? Relationships aren’t always smooth sailing. Grow up.
9. Men like the idea of me but apparently not the reality. Guys always say they want a strong woman, but the truth is, most of them can’t actually handle one. They think that’s what they like but they usually don’t have the confidence to be with one of us. We are amazing but we also don’t take any crap. I’m so tired of getting let down by men who aren’t secure enough to date me that I’d rather never care about a man at all.
10. No one seems to be able to handle my honesty. Men like to tell me that my honesty is refreshing, but inevitably it gets all too real for them. I’m not one to shy away from depth and raw truth. I live authentically and I’m a very open person. I want someone I can share that with, not someone who is afraid of it. I get more depressed with every failed romance.
11. Guys convince me they’re emotionally mature and then show their true colors later. I’m so over it. I don’t know if I can believe any man at this point. They always present themselves a certain way in the beginning and it’s not how they really are. What’s the point? I’m going to figure it out eventually. It’s like the happiness I feel doesn’t count at all because it’s based on lies.
12. I never feel safe in a relationship. I don’t feel like I can trust a man with my emotions, let alone my vulnerability and my heart. I’ve never been with someone I feel truly safe trusting with my happiness. I want to be able to stand on my own, but I also want to know I’m with a man who will support me through the tough times. I’ve never had that. I’m better off alone.
13. I’m very sensitive and I don’t do well with breakups. I’m not good at losing anyone I care about, and romantic partners are no exception. I can’t take it, especially if I still care for the guy but we simply want different things. I have a horrible time moving on. It’s so terribly rough for me that I don’t think the relationship itself is ever worth the hell I go through afterwards.
14. I don’t understand why guys act like I’m The One and still give up so easily. Do I only pick men who live in Fantasyland? It’s so upsetting. I never pretend to be anything I’m not, so I don’t know how they can be surprised when I’m a normal human with normal needs. It’s like it’s only awesome as long as they don’t actually have to try. I’m so done with it.