If You Like Me Because I’m “Not Like Other Girls,” Stay The Hell Away From Me

I’ve heard guys drop some truly horrendous lines on me in my lifetime, but my least favorite one by far is, “I love that you’re not like other girls.” On the surface, it might seem sweet. You might get a little confidence boost knowing that he sees you as someone special, someone who stands out from the crowd. When I was younger and desperate for boys to like me, I thought the same thing. But now, the second you try to win me over with that line, this is why I’ll run for the hills:

  1. There’s nothing wrong with “other girls.” Please, give me your reasons. I’d love to shut them down. What, they’re all stuck up? High-maintenance? Materialistic? Melodramatic? I’m sorry you’ve had so many close encounters with crappy people, but I guarantee you could find plenty of men who could be described in the exact same way. All the women I surround myself with are awesome human beings, so do a little more research before crapping on my gender.
  2. If I ever act like “other girls,” you’ll use it against me. I’ve seen it happen before. The second I speak out against something you’re doing that I’m not cool with, or the moment I do something that you don’t agree with, you’re going to say something like, “Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you ARE just like other girls.” But I don’t play that game, dude. I’ll just flip you the bird and ride off into the sunset with all the “other girls” you like to hate on so much.
  3. Pitting me against other women is not a compliment. Girls put each other down; women lift each other up. And honey, I’m a grown woman. I believe in supporting my fellow human beings, regardless of what gender they may be. So when you try to put me on a pedestal and tell me how much better I am than other women, I get a little repulsed. It goes against everything I believe in. My self esteem doesn’t come from cutting other women down, and you’re not going to change that.
  4. People who generalize an entire population are bad news. When you deliver a line like this, you’re acting just like that person who says, “Well, you’re different. You don’t act like OTHER black people,” or “I’m just glad you’re not like OTHER gay people.” Sounds pretty messed up when you put it that way, huh? I have yet to meet someone decent who paints an entire group of people with the same brush, and I doubt you’re going to be the first.
  5. If this is your way of trying to make me feel special, it’s not working. Really? REALLY? This is the best “compliment” you could come up with? It’s not just rude — it’s lazy. Come on, tell me I have pretty eyes or something. Pretty much anything would be more impressive than what you just came up with. If you really want to show me how much you like me, you’re going to have to work a little harder than that, buddy.
  6. The characteristics you use to describe “other girls” aren’t actually bad. She likes guys who are financially responsible? She enjoys pop music and bad reality TV? I mean, I could understand if “other girls” was your term used to describe female serial killers, but the stuff you’re coming up with is pretty average. If that’s the worst they can do, maybe your standards are just too high.
  7. If things go wrong between us, I know you’ll just classify me right along with the “other girls.” The second things end between us, I know you’re going to go running to your friends, heave a dramatic sigh, and say, “Well, that’s it — they really ARE all the same.” Then, once you find another girl, you’re subconsciously going to lump me in right along with all the other women who got sick of your crap, so I’ll be at the front of your mind when you tell her, “I love that you’re not like other girls.”
  8. Making me feel like the rest of my gender is bad is just gross. I’ve spent my whole life surrounded by awesome women, so it’s pretty messed up for you to imply that not only am I better than all of them but that there’s something inherently wrong with them. You’re not necessarily sitting me down with a list of all the reasons why women are she-devils, but that one comment tells me that you’d like me to think as poorly of my gender as you seem to.
  9. You’re probably a raging misogynist. I’m no scientist, but I have noticed that many of the dudes who whip the “other girls” comment out to try to impress women are the same ones who tried to make “meninism” a thing. They’re also the same ones who lament that women “only go for a-holes” while “nice guys” like themselves are left all alone during the cold winter nights. I guess I’m guilty of making a blanket statement here myself, but I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to think that a dude who thinks that there’s something wrong with most women is a bit of a sexist.
  10. If that’s your idea of a compliment, I’d hate to see what you consider an insult. Mainly because it really is an insult. Not only are you blatantly crapping on other women, but you’re also crapping on my intelligence. That line might work on girls who have no self-esteem or don’t have enough experience in the dating world to know the meaning hidden behind it, but I sure do. If you’re going to try it out, maybe pick someone with lower standards.
Averi is a word nerd and Brazilian jiu jitsu brown belt. She's also a TEFL/TESOL-certified ESL teacher and an equine enthusiast. Originally from Pennsylvania, she lived in Costa Rica for a while before moving to Australia. In addition to her work as a writer and editor for Bolde, she also has bylines with Little Things and regularly writes for Jiu-Jitsu Times.

You can follow Averi on Instagram @bjjaveri or on Twitter under the same handle.
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