Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just really really different than it used to be. The kind I need from a guy doesn’t fall under the typical “open the door for me” or “pay for my dinner” umbrella. While I’d certainly appreciate those gestures, I’m looking for a guy who will do things a little differently…
- He answers my calls even when he’s “busy” scrolling Instagram. A guy who’ll stop mid-Instagram scroll to answer my call or text is probably the most chivalrous type of guy in the world. I know what it’s like to be 62 weeks deep into someone’s feed and I know how easy it would be to hit “ignore” when you’re in the middle of a good creep session. If he answers my call when he’s in the middle of a low-key investigation, he’s chivalrous.
- He lets me pick the restaurants we eat at, even if the food is weird. Chivalry is also bringing my favorite food over to my apartment without me having to ask for it. Nowadays, I think chivalry has more to do with a guy being selfless and confident enough to be kind without worrying about being “whipped” or looking like a chump. That’s not to say we won’t ever eat what he wants, but I do like being in charge, particularly when it comes to food.
- He’s always one of the first people to like my posts. Nothing is more chivalrous than a guy who’ll double tap on my Instagram the second after I post it. Seriously. I think that says so much. Not only does it mean he’s actively creeping on my profile, it’s just another small way he can show his interest in me. Plus, it helps my overall “like” ratio, which is key. And if he comments on my post too? Damn. Marriage will be on the immediate horizon.
- He texts me back in a timely manner. I know people have work, but I honestly don’t care. I want a guy who texts me back in a timely manner every single time. And if for some reason he’s unable to text for a few hours during the day, I need that to be explained to me in a text so I know what’s up. It’s not hard to type, “Going into a meeting, text you when I’m done.” In fact, it’s a very simple (and chivalrous) thing to do.
- He communicates like an actual adult. I know we’re young-ish and talking with abbreviations is cool and trendy. I get it and I do it too, but I don’t want the guy I’m with to rely on texting lingo in real life too. I think chivalry isn’t just being able to communicate effectively but choosing to communicate effectively. It’s all about choices, and if a guy chooses to be an actual adult, he’s chivalrous. Period.
- He doesn’t call me names in the heat of the moment. I have quite the potty mouth, but I hate when people cuss at me. I know that’s hypocritical, but that’s where I’m at. I need a guy who won’t scream at me when I’m screaming at him. I need a guy who won’t call me a bitch after I call him an asshole. I need a guy who’ll choose to stay when I tell him to leave and force me to communicate my thoughts in order for us to move forward.
- He takes a ton of pics of me without complaining. I hate when I’m dating a guy who gets all pissy when I ask him to take one picture of me and that one picture turns into a mini photo shoot. Chill the hell out! Like, excuse me for caring about my appearance and making sure I don’t look like a scrub. Honestly, they should thank me for only posting the best of the best pics of myself. My Instagram feed makes them look good by association. If a guy takes multiple pictures of me without asking when we’ll be done, he’s a good one.
- He randomly surprises me with gifts. This has always been chivalrous, right? I mean, gifts are just nice to receive. I know not every guy is going to have the finances to splurge on me all the time, but every now and then would be nice. I don’t even need roses or chocolates. Venmo me some gas money, Postmates me a nice vegan meal, call me an Uber… you get the point.
- He doesn’t play games. I don’t want him to say he doesn’t play games because that automatically means he does. I want him to act like he doesn’t. I want him to call when he says he’s going to call. I want him to actually commit to me when it’s time to do so. A guy who can initiate the relationship talk without me having to bring it up is without a doubt a chivalrous gentleman who deserves all the benefits of having a girlfriend.
