I’ve Finally Learned My Lesson — I’m NEVER Messing Up My Love Life Like This Again

Recently I’ve been doing a bit of reflecting on some of the horrible dating mistakes I’ve been guilty of making one too many times. These lapses in judgment and mishaps helped me realize I’ve been doing it all wrong and it’s time to get my act together by never doing these 10 things again:

  1. Dating Someone Who Isn’t Ready for a Relationship I’m so over meeting a guy and hearing him say, “I’m not looking for a serious relationship” after the first date or after the first week of getting to know each other. In the past, I would continue seeing men who weren’t ready for a relationship in hopes that maybe one day they would change their minds, but I’m done playing that game and waiting around for a guy to realize that I’m girlfriend material. The second a guy says he’s not ready for something serious, I’m out.
  2. Initiating Contact This is seriously dating 101. The many times I decided to initiate contact with a guy I really liked, the results were always crappy. Either I would throw myself into an anxiety-filled tizzy as I waited for a reply, or the guy wouldn’t ever bother responding to my text message and phone call, leaving me feeling like a complete wreck on the inside. In 2017, I’ll leave the initiation up to the guys — that way, I’ll never be the one who’s sitting around waiting for a reply.
  3. Ignoring My Intuition My intuition is pretty much on point, but I still ignore it when it tries to steer me clear from impending player danger. When I get that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, I’ll take the time to actually assess why I’m feeling that way so I can get to the root of the problem quicker. When my intuition tells me to stop being a dumbass when dealing with a guy who’s not worth my time, I’ll be listening loud and clear.
  4. Giving Second Chances I’m tired of giving guys second chances to screw me over once again. In the new year, I’m implementing a “no tolerance policy” on all these time-wasters. The second a guy shows me he’s not trustworthy and he’s full of crap, he’s getting tossed. On to the next!
  5. Settling for Bad Sex Because I really Like Him Ugh, I could literally punch myself in the face for settling for bad sex in the past. It’s like I was doing the guy a favor by allowing him to mount me even though I knew I was going to be disappointed and annoyed by the end of the night. Even though the guy was a sweetheart, I just can’t see myself living the rest of my life with someone who can’t get the job done in the bedroom. I’m determined to make 2017 the year I’ll be saying goodbye to bad sex forever.
  6. Trying to DTR Too Soon In the past, I was always anxious to define the relationship. I wanted to know where things were headed as soon as possible so I didn’t waste another second of my time. Many times, guys would just say what they thought I wanted to hear, and their true intentions were shown later on down the road. In the new year, I won’t be so quick to DTR until I know for sure he’s the guy I really want to be with.
  7. Going on a Second Date After a Horrible First One Many times after a horrible first date, I would agree to a second date with a guy I really wasn’t feeling. I had hopes that maybe I would see something in him on the second date that would make me like him more, but that was never the case. After the second date, it was even more apparent that I just wasn’t into him, and I could’ve saved my time and his by not agreeing to go out with him in the first place. This is something that definitely won’t be happening in the new year.
  8. Giving Too Much Too Soon I’ll admit it: I’m a giver. When I meet someone I really like, I can’t help but get the urge to give him everything, from a home-cooked meal to a back rub after a long day at work. But those days are long gone, and I’m done with giving too much to someone who doesn’t deserve it. If a guy wants to taste my world famous lasagna, he’s going to have to work for it.
  9. Playing Games Don’t judge me, but I was a huge game player in the past. I read one too many dating books and decided that playing hard-to-get was the way to win a guy’s heart. But no matter how many games I played, it didn’t change the way a guy felt about me. Sure, for those who loved the chase, they chased a bit harder. But at the end of the day, they would move on and chase someone else because it wasn’t about “capturing” me; they were just playing games, too! Now I’m over all the games and ready to be real and upfront with those I come in contact with.
  10. Making Demands There are ways to make demands without completely scaring a guy off, but I’m totally over asking for what I want. I know guys aren’t mind-readers, but I think any guy who’s ready for a serious relationship and wants to make me happy will know what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I shouldn’t have to demand he call me when he gets home from work, and I definitely shouldn’t have to demand he stop talking to his ex. From now on, I’ll only waste time on the guys who instinctively do things that make me happy.
An avid internet surfer with a passion for writing.
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