Confession: I think it’s totally fine to have a type. Everyone acts like you should keep an open mind when it comes to dating and that you never know who you’ll far for — and while that’s true to some extent, if you go for someone you know from the start that you’re not really into, that’s just a recipe for disaster. Here’s why I believe you should have a preference when it comes to guys:
- You can learn from your history. Sure, if you’re super into bad boys and you’ve only had your heart broken in the past, it might not be the greatest idea in the world to date yet another one. But if you only like a certain type of guy, that tells you something important about your search for love. You can always learn from the past and find someone with those qualities – but in a much healthier way.
- You’re honest about who you’re attracted to. If you like a guy with more of an edge, you’re not exactly going to be happy with a preppy type. You need to be honest so you don’t waste your time and his, too.
- You have a better chance of success. Society tells you to go for the so-called Nice Guy. You try it and find you have nothing in common. Straying far from the type of guys you’re normally interested in won’t necessarily bring you love, so there’s not really any point. You can be successful in your dating endeavors if you only like to date dark-haired guys, adventurous guys, smart guys, etc.
- More is not always better. Some people like to approach dating as a numbers game – the idea that the more dates you go on, the better shot you have at finding someone great. That’s definitely true but at the same time, sometimes more dates just means more bad dates. If you have the choice of one date with someone you think you will like or ten dates with guys who are the total opposite of your ex-boyfriends, maybe try the first option.
- You can’t force it. Lust, chemistry, interest – whatever term you want to use, it can never be forced. Connecting with someone new has to happen naturally and if you’re forcing yourself to date someone different just for the sake of it, that won’t work out. That’s not fair to anyone.
- Your instincts will lead you to love. Your brain tells you to go for someone who seems stable and on the right track, whatever that means. Your heart, however, is a totally different story.
- People are always changing. Just because someone doesn’t seem like they have it all together right now doesn’t mean that will still be the case a few months from now. If you click with someone, you owe it to yourself to explore that connection without worrying about how a different person would be the “smarter” choice. Plus, no one really has it all together, no matter what Instagram tells you.
- The beginning is the time to be shallow. Let’s be honest: you want to be shallow in the early days. It’s the only time you’re allowed to be so you might as well take advantage of it. Later you’ll be dealing with all sorts of relationship issues but today, you can focus on the shallow stuff.
- Guys have a type, too. Sure, it might be totally unrealistic sometimes (we’re not all supermodels – actually, the majority of us aren’t, and that’s actually a good thing). But to pretend that we’re all completely open-minded when it comes to who we’re physically attracted to is kind of crazy.
- Your type can change. Just because you’re into a certain kind of person today doesn’t mean your tastes won’t change tomorrow. That just keeps life (and dating) interesting.
