Is This Guy Playing Me Or What? 13 Red Flags To Look Out For

It’s not always easy to know if a guy’s playing you or has a legit good reason for why he’s giving you some mixed messages. Truth be told, sometimes you might not even know if your gut’s telling you to stay away or you’re just being paranoid. It’s enough to drive you crazy. If you can’t quite decide whether he’s playing you for a fool, here are some red flags to look out for.

1. He stands you up. Unless he had a serious emergency that disrupted his entire day, there’s never a good enough reason for him to stand you up. Like, why can’t he just text you to say that he can’t make it? Leaving you at the date location waiting for him for over an hour isn’t cool. Things do legitimately come up every once in a while, but if it happens a lot, he’s playing you.
2. He never answers your call. He texts you all the time but he never answers your phone calls. That’s shady as hell. Is he with someone else or does he not want you to know everything about his life? It definitely makes you think he’s hiding something, and you’re probably right.
3. He shows up late to dates. While not as serious as ditching a date altogether, it’s not fair if he regularly arrives late to dates. It’s a huge sign that he doesn’t respect you or your time. You don’t want to get into a relationship with him, ladies – you’ll just be waiting for him all the time and telling yourself, “He’s playing me for a fool, I need to GTFO.”
4. He keeps himself hidden away. Does he know every detail about you and your life while you don’t know much about him? This is a huge red flag. The relationship is one-sided. He wants to enter your life, but he’s not opening his life up for you, so you’re basically dating someone who’s leaving you guessing. If he’s keeping details about his life quiet, he might not be playing you but he does have something to hide.
5. He never tells you what he’s doing. If you ask him what he’s doing on the weekend, he might say, “Not sure” or “Nothing much.” Is there anything more frustrating than trying to get him to talk to you? It’s even worse if you have to find out about where he’s going and what he’s doing in his spare time by checking out his social media.
6. He’s a big flirt but never asks you out. It’s fun to flirt with him and sometimes during a flirting session you might start to feel like he’s really into you. But, if he never asks you out, that’s a sign he could be playing with you. Why the stalling? Even a shy guy knows how to close! He might just like the attention he gets from flirting with you but he doesn’t want to have anything serious with you. That’s because he’s playing you and wasting your time.
7. He texts but never hangs. It’s weird if a guy can text you for hours at a time without having something else to do but then he can’t meet up in person because he’s “too busy.” Whatever. The guy’s lying. If he was really into you, he’d want to spend time with you in person instead of just via text.

More signs he’s playing you and you need to walk away

1. He never plans dates. If he does spend time with you in real life, does he take the time and put in some effort to plan romantic dates with you? Or does he leave all that up to you to organize? If it’s the latter, you’re putting in much more energy than he is. He’s just conveniently going through the motions.
2. He never takes you on public dates. While it might be fun when he pitches up on your doorstep with pizza, and it’s cool how he’s always keen to hang at your place, it’s not cool if he never takes you out in public. What is he hiding? He might not want to make it seem like you guys are dating, or maybe he’s worried that people in his life will see you and he doesn’t want that awkward scenario.
3. He’s all about the hang. If you’ve been dating for a few weeks but he never says that you’re dating, he might be playing you. If he says you’re “hanging,” that’s not good enough, especially if you guys are behaving like a couple. He’s got to be open to defining things, otherwise, you’re not official or exclusive.
4. He avoids you on social media. He might be cool with chatting via text or email but then he doesn’t add you on social media. What gives? It might not feel like a big deal to you, but maybe it is a big deal. Look, if he keeps finding excuses for why he doesn’t want to connect on FB or Twitter, that’s dodgy, especially if you guys are getting closer in real life. He should have nothing to hide from you, whether in real life or online.
5. He’s never around when you need him. He’s all over you when you’re having a good day, but does he go AWOL when you really need him, like when you’ve received bad news and really need to talk to someone about it? You want to be with someone who’s going to be there for you on good and bad days. This guy’s just keen on champagne-soaked times and doesn’t have time for tears. Ugh. Even if he’s not playing you, he’s certainly not proving himself to be someone worthwhile.
6. He asks for nudes, then doesn’t reply. Not only is this so cringy and upsetting, but if he seems to want to exchange saucy pics but then doesn’t show you his when you’ve shown him yours, the guy is not only playing you but he’s a total loser. He wants to get things from you but he doesn’t want to share himself with you. Not cool! Hit delete on his number because nothing good is going to come from this guy.