Finding a guy worthy of being your boyfriend isn’t TOO terribly hard, especially when you’re in the early stages of infatuation. But if you’re looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, things get a lot more complicated. If you’re not sure if the guy you’re dating is worthy of forever, ask yourself these questions before planning for the future:
- Do you talk about your future? This one is pretty obvious. Are you comfortable enough to make plans with your guy a few months down the road? What about a few years? If discussing future plans is still a touchy topic for your boyfriend, he might be more ‘here and now’ material than hubby material.
- Is he there when you need him most? A man who is husband material will be there for you when things get serious, no questions asked. If your guy is super fun but flakes when things get rough, he’s definitely not the one.
- Does he make responsible financial decisions? Not all couples choose to combine finances after they tie the knot, but you may be the type of person that wants to. Do you really want to pick up the slack if your guy decides to skip out on the cable bill for a night out with his buddies? A man that is fiscally responsible takes his future seriously, and that’s the type of guy you should consider building a life with.
- Do your parents like him? Have you ever asked your parents if they like your boyfriend? If you haven’t, you should. Point-blank ask them, and pay careful attention to how they react. Your parents want the best for you, and you should really take them into consideration when you’re making the serious decision to dedicate your life to someone else. After all, your guy isn’t just going to be in your life forever — he’s going to be in your family’s lives forever too.
- Does he take your needs seriously? You probably have a list of things you expect from the men you date. This doesn’t make you bitchy or demanding, it just means you have standards. Does your guy meet all of your expectations? If not, things probably won’t work out for the two of you in the future. After marriage, you’ll begin to rely on each other while making some serious life decisions. Make sure your boyfriend can handle the little stuff before you expect him to handle bigger responsibilities.
- What do you think of his friends? In a way, your guy is a reflection of the people he surrounds himself with. Of course you’re not going to love every single one of his friends; there’s always going to be that one hopeless douchebag. That being said, his friends probably aren’t going anywhere after marriage, and you shouldn’t expect them to.
- Do you have the similar goals? You don’t need to have the same career aspirations or have identical five-year plans, but your future plans should at least align with one another. If your guy plans on going back packing through Europe in a year and you want to settle down and buy a house in the suburbs, you’ve got some serious conversations ahead of you.
- Have you had “the talk” yet? If you are seriously considering whether your guy is marriage material or not, you have to have a conversation about family planning. It’s not sexy, but it’s necessary. Your boyfriend may be surprised by the fact that you have no interest in having children, and he may want to raise a whole brood. Never assume that your guy will change his mind in the future, either. This could lead to a lot of unnecessary fighting and heartbreak down the line.
- Do you see a future with him? This is a pretty simple yes-or-no question that doesn’t need much further explanation. If you don’t see your guy by your side when you imagine future milestones, he’s just not it.
- What sets him apart? At this point in your life, you’ve probably dated a handful of guys that all have one thing in common: they weren’t “the one” and the relationships didn’t work out. What sets your current boyfriend apart from the other relationships you’ve had? Is he really your match or is he just a good guy that doesn’t cheat or lie? You aren’t obligated to marry your boyfriend because he’s nice. A guy that’s marriage material will stand out from the rest and make you feel like there’s no doubt in the world that he is the one for you.
