It truly sucks when you’re a single woman with a high sex drive trying to navigate the pool of eligible bachelors in hopes of finding one worth not only sleeping with, but potentially forming a relationship with. I go on plenty of dates, but I can never really let things progress in the bedroom since I’ve been burned so many times in the past. I know that sleeping with a guy doesn’t lower my worth, but I end up coming off as a prude just to avoid being judged by guys.
- The double standard still exists. As far as I think we’ve come in society, the mentality that sleeping with someone early on implies that I’d hop into bed with just anyone still exists. It’s hard to squash the feeling that I’ve made a genuine connection that’s worth exploring further, but I feel like I can’t act on any sexual chemistry because history has taught me not to trust any guy — even if he seems super into me outside the bedroom too.
- Waiting may weed out the bad guys, but it still sucks. It’s not fun putting my sexual urges on the back-burner, but sometimes it needs to be done in order to make sure the guy in my company likes me for the right reasons. Even though I have every right to have sex with a guy whenever I please, it still gives me a bit of a complex if I go through with it because I know the labels society will put on me — labels which, for the record, are total BS.
- I’m sick of getting hurt. I’m sick of feeling like things are in a good enough place with a guy that I’m safe to trust him enough to sleep with him, only to have him dart out of my life like a bolt of lightning. I might be hornier than a spring bunny most of the time, but holding out reduces the risk factor of getting emotionally destroyed by yet another player.
- I’m worth more than just sex. I’m not just a body for a guy to play with, so holding out actually does serve its purpose in the sense that it allows the guy to get to know me better as a person. Waiting might be torture for the both of us, but at least it gives me more time to not only show who him who truly am, but to weigh out if he’s actually worth my time. If he has a problem with waiting then he’s definitely not.
- Hookup culture has made things way too easy for guys. The modern dating scene has turned everyone into a bunch of seemingly sex-crazed maniacs. It seems like nothing is sacred anymore and love has never been harder to find. I’m so sick of the constant push for me to have sex with a guy early on because even though I may really want to, it’s almost like these guys just expect it these days without making a real effort — if you give it up quickly, you’re too easy. If you hold out, you’re a tease. WTF?
- Depriving myself seriously sucks, but I know it’s for the best. There are times when I become so sexually frustrated from depriving myself of something that makes me feel more alive that I could just scream. It seriously sucks. I have to force myself to hold on to the knowledge that holding out helps me out in the long run because it saves me from being treated like an afterthought.
- The right guy will want to earn me. No matter how strong my sexual urges become, I constantly remind myself that the right guy for me isn’t going to give much of a crap about waiting because he’ll be loving all the other things he gets from me in the meantime — things like my kindness, my laughter, my company and learning about the things in my life that make me who I am. Sure, the sex will be great, but he’ll get it when he earns it. I won’t let him use it was a weapon against me.
- Waiting is worth it. It’s not just that I’m worth the wait for the guy in my life, but I’m also worth the wait for myself. I’d rather hold out and know that I’m sleeping with the guy for the right reasons and not just because some insane chemistry pulled me in. I may not get it right every single time, but I’m doing the best I can.
